Little Miss Sunshine!

It was not though as if her journey in our lives was uneventful. Many ups and downs like any other normal family. During her school days in Fatima, she shone mostly in sports and dance activities. She was adjudged best student in sports when she was in 7th or 8th. 9th and 10th were difficult for her as well as for us. She was not a Maths student.  You are or you are not, it's as straight as that for Maths! Period! Her marks in Maths used to give me sleepless nights. When the 9th 's exams were just a few months away she showed her true colours about her dislike for Maths. It was so difficult to get a private tutor to teach  Maths at that 11th hour that we practically took it for granted that she would flunk Maths, as normally private schools apply their filters in 9th only to have 100% results in 10th.

Her Maths teacher in school just shrugged, saying, 'He can not give personal attention to every student in the class of 75 !'    

'In that case, you should conduct special classes for such students, after school is over !' 

'No that's not possible'

The same answer was given to me when I went to have special teaching for my son as he always excelled in all subjects!

That's our education system. Law of averages is applied so blatantly that it's futile to expect above normals to shine or below normals to come on par! 

But she surprised us. With special training only for 3 to 4 months, she not only got through 9th but excelled in Maths in 10th even, with very good marks!

The only thing which I insisted on her was to opt for the discipline of science, in Junior college. In my truest sense and heartfelt conviction, it is the only discipline that opens vistas of life on all fronts. It opens your mind! And she did not disappoint me. 12th too, she cleared with good marks lifting a heavy weight off my mind!

A bit of friction was there when it came to 'What after 12th ?' Like every middle class, ' By values' father[ in me], I wanted her to pursue pure academics like B.Sc in Micro or some such branch, respectable enough to have good match in future! [ How stupid of me !]  But she, with support of her mother, stoically refused and decided to pursue a career in hospitality. My opposition was never that staunch so I did not press like typical Indian father[ Not that, the duo would have paid any heed to my nay.] But I went with her to take admission in catering college, actually IHM, Institute of Hospitality Management, at Dadar, where she had secured seat after having 300th rank on all India basis where around 150, 000 students aspire to get in!  
In IHM, she bloomed into a very beautiful person, self-sufficient, bubbly, effervescent, articulate, an independent soul with the mind of her own, all at the same time! She had become so confident by then, that in the tender ages of teens, still pursuing her B.sc. at IHM, she flew to Poland, to help destitute children to teach everything in general, English in special! Journey to Poland at that tender age of 18 was more than testing! There is no direct flight to Warsaw from India. You have to change flight either at Frankfurt or Munich, with a halt of a few hours. The place she was supposed to visit, Stargard was still further away from Warsaw for which you have to change the trains, midway! This girl in her teens, without knowing ABC of Polish language [ Eastern Europeans speak sparse English ], without having Polish currency [ Most of the eastern European countries haven't opted for Euro, so far.]. had so many problems just to reach the bus station which was to take her to the Warsaw railway station from the airport, for want of a change in Polish currency! But she managed. She was travelling practically for 24 hours but reached the destination safely. My girl 'Arrived !'
Thereafter it was only up up and up for her. It was followed by a stint of internship in a hotel at Delphi in Greece. She worked very hard in Delphi and became like a family member of the hotel owner. She by this time had travelled over the parts of  Europe, all on her own, like any other teenager from the west. She travelled all over Belgium, staying at youth hostels, biking her way to places, visiting hotels and bars like locals. The entire trip she mapped out herself and executed to the last 'T'.  Her this 'Independent' stint was disliked, but even today I liked what she did because she lived her life on her own terms without bothering about the emotional pressures! I fully supported her in this venture of hers then and support even now!
All the journey so far, made her so tough and independent that she on her own applied for the Masters in Hospitality in the University of South Australia, got selected and completed the course with a medal! She was so brilliant in her job that she was absorbed in Melbourne Sheraton while still doing her compulsory internship. 

 


















Saana, you always made me proud, some hiccups are bound to be there but in the end, it's the heart that counts!

Abode of God

I won't say that I never prayed. I prayed, very earnestly and very hard at times. Mostly in difficult times and they were plenty and really, really hard for one to go through. But even in those desperate moments, I was always unsure of, to who was I praying to and where my prayers were reaching? They were in real, my efforts to realign my shattering soul to bring some semblance to my very being, and not for that unknown, unseen power above or the so-called almighty! Again I might have prayed in the early ages when I was naive and did not understand the concept of God, but in the years to come when I started groping in the adult world with tiny steps to start with I always doubted the concept of God.

And thus abode of God! A place I always detested to visit to meet God

I have visited many temples, mosques and Churches. 
In fact in Europe if you take a conducted tour it's nothing but Churches, Cathedrals or Chapels all 'C's with some 'Convent' s or 'Castle' s thrown in for a change. The absence of sound in these places did not give me solitude but made me aware of my loneliness. The silence in the sanctum was/is just too much for someone like me, brought up in noisy Hindu culture, to absorb and then like it! I am always so bogged down by that eerie soundless ambience in these abodes of God that I feel scared, even to make the slightest whisper of a prayer. Maybe, he never was my saviour due to my faith, but always felt him to be distant and aloof, who might just not be staying there, in those heavily ornated, splendorously sculptured pieces of excellent architecture to listen to your unsaid prayers, as he always was the God of downtrodden who have nothing, 

Visited two great mosques. Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia. Both in Istanbul. Similar in designs architecturally both are beauty for the eyes. Sophia, in fact, was built as a church to start with but was converted into a mosque during the Ottoman regime. So from 537 AD to 1453 AD, it was abode to Christian  God.  In1453,  after it was taken over by Mehmed II, it was converted into a mosque so became abode to Islamic God. When winds of liberalization blew over Turkey under Attaturk it was converted into a museum and then it ceased to be the abode of God! Thus the same building became abode to different Gods when the realms changed. Blue mosque is simply a wonder, built in turquoise blue tiles, it's number one tourist attraction of Istanbul, so always overcrowded, and the crowd takes you away from God!

Though named similarly but vastly different in architecture Blue mosque in Kualalumpur is really a place where you feel you may meet God. Though having a huge praying hall, though being always crowded you neither have cacophony like in Hindu temples nor Pin drop scary silence of churches. You have humanity thronging the place but everybody just bows down to, well nothing in front and tries to connect directly with God!  Through the prayers without any mediator! Isn't it the way one would like to have an equation with God!

Buddhist Wats in Thailand are pieces of architectural wonders but show the vanity of kings who built them. If they are decorated with Gold films from top to bottom how could  God, possibly be residing in them and be the God of poor, who outnumber the haves. If God asks you to bring in a gold leaf to fulfil your wish, you better be poor than to bow down to [Gold thirsty ? ] God, who in all probability must not be living in such abodes.

At Rishikesh on River Ganges, on the other side of Laxman Zula, there are so many,  really so many temples from this small to huge 13 storied temple 'palaces', that it seems as if there is an entire city built for Gods to live according to their stature and affordability!  On a personal level, in my belief, Hindu Gods have deserted their abodes many eras ago. In spite of singing prayers in utmost voices, in spite of beating drums and bongos in full ear splitting thumping thunders, maybe, it's to call them back, they don't seem to answer the prayers of their disciples. Either, they have gone deaf or they just have left their biggest abode, India ! See her condition now! 

Huge religious structures do not have God residing in them, a small heart, filled with love and kindness is sufficient! In fact, they dwarf the human, the very creation of God [?]! In reality, it is the vacuous pride of its creators who want to show to the world, how pious they are! And how Great 'They' are by serving humanity, in the bracket !   

On the contrary, I feel as the man himself is the creator of God, it's natural that he wants his God to reside in these posh abodes, which he himself dreams of! In this case, it's definitely not, 'More the merrier !'

Pink and More

Does the storm created by 'Pink' stop when the film ends. ? The answer is so obvious, No, on the contrary, it starts with more vengeance. Have we changed or are we in that space where everything is still blurred? An advertisement presently running on TV shows a small girl cutting her long hair in earnest to be like a boy and wants to wear boys' clothes so that with boy cut and boys' clothes she can continue her schooling. The line, in the end, tells us glaringly that 20 million girls are still deprived of any education forget higher, even primary! And we are disturbed, by the plight of three urbane girls who 'ARE' living their lives on their terms, at least somewhat. Not to undermine their plight but the situation is much much graver and Pink must be given credit at least to broach the topic where Woman and woman herself owns her body and self and nobody has any right to have anything do with her, whether it be work, sex or mental abuse, beyond that unmarked unseen line, her consent! Including her husband! Good point!

Imagine the same scenario happening say first 60 and then 30 years ago. In Films categorically. Amitabh in his baritone voice asking a 'Girl ','Are you Virgin ?' Crystal clear, straight forward, blunt and to the point! Girl in the docks hesitates for a moment but comes out clean nonchalantly albeit in lower volume, but yes, affirmatively.  And we don't cringe. We still are on the girl's side.   

Now imagine the same question being asked in the 1950s [ absolutely unthinkable]  by Late Prithwiraj Kapoor to demure shaking Madhubala in the docks. Or maybe later in the 1970s by Late Ashokumar to Sharmila Tagore again in the docks, but shaking demurely, bit[ or too much] put on act for even frontbencher to make out,  flashing her well-painted eyes and lashes. Would our reactions have been the same?

In my father's generation when Prithwiraj Kapoor with Karan Diwan and Surendra ruled the roost, though Heroine had a past, it was never her doing. It was forced on her, it was a mistake and but nonetheless, it was a blemish on her character, for which she had to suffer throughout her entire life.. Why the films, it was the rule in the society, of the society then. The very progressive newspaper started none other than by Hon. Lokmanya Tilak too discussed on front pages whether women should stick to 9 yards saris, they then were using in Maharashtra or change to 6 yards without the central parting! It even doubted the morality of those who did so! Dainik Kesari,  of all the papers !!

The 70s onwards the things changed for the films and for society too. But virginity still was considered as a gift,  mostly to husband and that too after the wedding, on the first night only! Premarital sex even with the beau was looked down upon! Zeenat Aman and Parveen Babi changed the scenario no doubt, but mostly superficially. Though coming from a low moral stratum of the society [ On the screen, mostly moles of villain ]  they almost always had heart of gold and they were doing it out of some compulsion, [ educating siblings in a fatherless home, being the prime ] and none said openly that, 'I wanted to do it so I did it, period, hell with the world !' Only one character said so, Sonia Sahani in Darpan but she was shown a HARLOT so she could get away with it, but not Waheeda Rehman the heroine, who too had a past so kept on weeping for her misendevour throughout the life of the movie!

And now here we are. We have come a long way from ' Wear Punjabi dress, at least it covers the entire body' to ' I want to keep my shoulders bare and that's my choice Babi !' Liberation, the freedom I hate to say but, 'Womanicipation !' But is it a true picture of emancipation or tip of the iceberg for urban/ urbane higher middle class moneyed class topping the peak of an iceberg and more than 90% mostly below the water, are still picking up the cow dung to plaster the walls ?! So I said Pink has not given the answer it has started a storm! One has to ride it!

Right to Know and Right to [say] No. Pink

It almost took thirty years for Bollywood to take inspiration from 1988 Hollywood film, 'The Accused', for which the protagonist actor, Jodie Foster got the coveted Oscar! The original was based on a true story that happened way back in 1983 and the trial had attracted huge attention in U.S. of A that catapulted in the making of The Accused'. It's pathetic that in 2016 Delhi, the things are just the same or should I call even worse!

Average working woman Sarah Tobias [Jodie Foster] dressed provocatively enters a shoddy bar to get away from her mundane but mostly complicated personal life, her boyfriend being a drug dealer! In gay abandon after a peg or two, she dances provocatively,? that ends in her brutal rape by three while the others who do not get a 'chance' cheer them to 'show' her! Rejected by the system, dejected Sarah's guardian angel comes in the form of Deputy DA, Kathryn Murphy. But not without unsympathetic hurdles on the way due to personal mental blocks of DA. Ultimately after seeing the devastation Sarah had to go through she fights back, starting from her bosses, the society in general and lastly in the court of justice asking the too pertinent question,' But she said "NO" then why ?'
I had seen the movie for Jodie Foster's mind disturbing performance way back in 1989, maybe on video as it was not screened in India with its soul in entirety. And the epitome of sentences lingered in my mind for years to come, 'But she said 'No'!

In 'Pink' the same question Amitabh asks in his concluding speech, 'The word 'No' is so self-explanatory that there is no second answer to it. '
I am not going to divulge the story, go and watch it yourself, but am going to highlight certain points of the movie.
What three genext South Delhi girls, sharing an apartment, pay for what they are, is the crux of the story. Urban and urbane, though economically independent, existentially middle-middle class, aspiring for more money, always, for various reasons, set out for a 'Throw the care to the air' evening at some Rock concert. And the trouble starts. Even today, even in cities like Mumbai, Pune, Chennai or Bengaluru, it's a done thing, if you go for Sawai Gandharva or any such classical music concert and come home by early morning, on the contrary, it's an outing to be taken in pride but if you attend a rock concert, immediately you are tagged and labelling does not stop there it goes on and on. A peg of whiskey or even a glass of wine adds to your kitty and makes you a harlot the very next moment. The same men who want to bed such 'Loose' girls become extremely outrageous if their sisters do the same. Amitabh in his superlative performance, after two duds, Vazir and Teen, towers above, what the screenplay has asked him to deliver. Totally convincing he [ writer] has put forth the lacunae in today's India still having her feudal mindset kicking and alive. High time we come out of it.  

What he does not say is more perplexing. The one who has the maximum right to one's own self, whether body or mind is, one himself/herself, nobody else has any right to possess you in whatever way they can! If you fail to say 'No', the state of exploitation starts then and there itself!
On every walk of life, practically for everybody, there comes a situation where a simple' No' would suffice and settle the matters for good, but people hesitate and the rigmarole starts! You have the right to say 'No', at the right juncture whether it's sex, work or mental abuse, execute it and you would be saved off a lot more!

Traveler with a past !

Damn bored. Since early morning clock, as if had gone on strike. Time had just stood still. Could not bear more by 4 /4.30, took out the bicycle and rode off. Though 4 years old still looks brand new. I myself had overhauled it 2 days back, so the ride was just flight on the air. The road was crowded. On top of it, Laxmi Road was closed. Shit! Took Kumthekar road to Alka Talkies chowk. What a sculpture. That lass carrying water on her head was evergreen youth personified. Always fresh, always young. One shameless crow was quenching his thirst parching on her super slim waist. You scoundrel, Felt jealous! Lakdi pul under repairs. It's a nightmare to cross it. Literally pushed the bicycle till ' Khanduji baba ' square. Of course, it's not a square but what a 'Name'? Could not they find something better like Leena Chandavarkar or Rakhi Biswas? Nowadays nobody is bothered about the aspirations of the youth, you know! Pandu was as if glued to his position. Not allowing the traffic to move. After well nigh 15 minutes probably he too was bored so changed his hands. Now with a good speed I have to reach 'Good Luck' I said to myself but that was not to happen. Saw Manisha Ray near Swastik. Waved to her. She waved back shouting 'Hey Wait' Had to. No go! She blah blahed for 15 minutes continuously, or was it 20, do not even remember what it was all about! One lass was passing on the opposite footpath clad in flashy lungi! To stop her blabber, said' Let's have a Coke' Entered Moti Mahal, damn hot and humid, but couldn't help. She ventured to pay the bill, Why bother, 'Pay 'I said dryly! Bed adieu and myself on the bike again. Saw usual gang near Lucky. But nobody I knew. Mak was to be there but was not. Must have gone out to look for the chicks. Saw Sachin near 'Good Luck' was returning from the cricket practice probably, but you don't miss him, after all, he is Sachin! Now 'it should have been 'Good Luck' corner but no, it;'s some 'Gokhale Square'.P. L. has aptly pointed out, anybody from politician to village ruffian is there but never an apt name! Turned towards 'Natraj'. One posh ' model' was crossing the road. But something had gone wrong with her nose. Needed to be little sharper. 'Natraj' was still screening 'Donhi Gharcha Pahuna', I had liked it. On the corner crossed paths with a double-decker. It reminded of a full-term, would-be mother with a waddling gait!

Junglee Maharaj Road! 80 Feet road, what a grandeur at one time, not that it is lost now but these road romeos[ Not me !] have turned it into double Brun with Muska! 'Berkeley ' ad showed 'Vishwajeet' with a crooked nose, probably all segments did not align properly. Good riddance, I don't like Vishwajeet..... And I misjudged. 4 number was approaching the stop fast and I was caught between the bus and the footpath. Thousand cusses.  Hardly any girl worth a watch, on the road. God knows, the parents must have locked them safely in Godrej. Had a cursory round of Bal Gandharva. Cafeteria closed. What rubbish, plan to have  Batata Vada, of course, went kaput! P L 's 'Wat Wat' is slated, must watch. Will have to come early, maybe 6 in the morning, otherwise, no tickets. Queen of Jhansi looked lusterless, maybe my lookout!

100 feet road by the riverside. What a road what a ride! Full with potholes. Never know when you are on the seat or in the air! Double seat offender must be made to take 50 laps, god forbid he would not ride, why double seat, single-seat again!

Maha! Nagar !! Palika !!! Pune Corporation. all words vacuous. Turned towards Sangam Bridge. Actually, it's 'No Entry' Looked around nobody in Khaki! The stench was nauseating. After 'Panshet' river has ceased to be a river and has become nullah! Sharp whistle. Two Pandus at the end of the road. Smart alecs. Took 'U' and retraced, what to do! The new bridge, what's the name ? 'Trimbakji Dengale' bridge. What a novel ' Zep' [Flight with Zest]   on Trimbakji by N S Inamdar. He definitely made people to take cognizance of Trimbakji otherwise who would have named a bridge after him! But the road is so smooth, what a ride on the bike !

Took a turn towards the station on Kennedy bridge. 'Alankar' is showing "Caravan' solid songs. Must watch. Chendya would be a good company. Should ask him. BJ was visible across the yards.

Station, Pune station. Still feel lost, whenever I come. It is human bazaar. People are traded. Some are sold some are bought. Without a tag. Many a time dime a dozen! I become so small in that crowd, practically lost! Faces and faces, everywhere around you but none that you know, that you relate to! This is Pune, In Maharashtra, In India on earth of our sun, so many such suns, with their innumerable galaxies, with their own innumerable earth, and this human bazaar flourished in some obscure corner of this universe, prospered but yet tiny very very tiny almost unaccountable! Yet each one moves with the same rhythm, fight petty battles, cry on loss, elate on so-called achievements, and pretend that they have conquered, what exactly nobody knows! Their defeat is limited their win is limited, their joys are limited so are their sorrows. In fact, their 'Universe' is limited, it's just for them. 

With a heavy heart, I just managed a quick ride back home, through the by lanes of Rasta, Raviwar and Kasba Peth. 'Once magnificent' Shaniwar Wada has now just become pathetic relics of the past. Sad!

After a ride of 3 to 3 and a half hours, I just was trying to put it on the stands and there this bicycle came down heavily, crashing on my legs. I shouted in pain. Mother came rushing from the kitchen and lifted me from the floor with the utmost care and caressing my polio afflicted legs she said in a silken smooth voice.

"Why did you try to stand again, it's not a done thing. It puts strain on your legs. Wait, let me put you back in the bed !"

Ray of Sunshine

She barged her way in our lives by sheer accident. But a very sweet and desirable one. After our firstborn, we had decided not to have the second one, but somewhere some things went haywire and she gate crashed into the family, a gatecrasher who was more than welcome!

My son would not like floodlights on him or his persona but, maybe, I feel, my daughter won't mind, letting out my innermost feelings about her for everyone to know. She has been that extrovert right from the beginning in a very positive way.

We had gone for mostly routine sonography and there she was flirting with life cosily in a warm environment. That tiny little heart pulsating full with life took our breaths away and we instantly fell in love with that tiny life. At that juncture, we didn't even know, whether that heart was his or her! In due course it turned out, that the heart full with vibrant zest for life belonged to her, Saana, our little brat princess!

She entered this and our world with so many positive vibes that, from the hospital, just across the road, she came home in a car, our first one! Prosperity entered through the front door along with, her tiny feet! Chubby and cherubic right from the day one, by the time she became 5 or 6 months old, she was absolutely 'well rounded'! Her nose was buried in her big cheeks and her neck was just not visible, so we nicknamed her 'GaDiMa' after the famous Marathi poet, of course affectionately! At around the same time through somebody, I don't remember whom, she was invited for the photoshoot for 'Johnson' baby. Well known photographer of those days, Shantanu Shevade, whom, famous film star Kimi Katkar was married to, was to do the shoot. She was just supposed to sit on a well-cushioned sofa and do some blah blah. This lady by that time was so 'rotund' that in spite of keeping two pillows on either side, was not able to sit on her own! She was just rolling on sides. Due to some other pressing matters, we could not pursue her 'Modelling' career but seeds of histrionics were probably sown then only!

She probably had dancing in her genes. From a very tender age of 2 or 3, she started gyrating her torso to the notes of music like a seasoned ballerina and most of the time she did not require cue! 
Unlike any child of her age, around three and a half, she did not detest school but enjoyed it. Very happily she used to ride the bus to the school. In Junior KG she attended Garodia school. 
Once her nanny came panting to me, telling, 'Saana is not on the bus she was supposed to come home.' Frantically I called the school, who without even bothering about ascertaining the whereabouts of Saana, told me, that the last bus has already left and there is no child on the school premises. We went blank, did not know what to do. Before coming to our area, the school bus used to take many stops, some, much farther away from our home. Could not even think, whether she got down at one of these stops, but it was very much a possibility. To take the school authorities to the task I drove down to school almost in a daze. I confronted whosoever was there, but they just washed their hands off! In desperation I went to school grounds, thinking whether she was still lost in the play. I shouted for her only once and there she came running from the pile of sand behind the tree, shouting in glee,' Babi, Babi' I could not even reprimand her. Just asked, tears welling up in my eyes,,' Where were you Bubba? We were worried. ' She simply replied, ' I was playing in sand Babi, building castles !' 
Later we transferred her to Fatima.
With lots of worry in her eyes, she came once, asking me to fire the watchman of the society. Naturally, I asked, 'Why?' With carefully selected words, she said, 
'There is this cat who has borne a litter of 4 to 5 kittens under the staircase of the wing and that rogue watchman is adamant on throwing them, all of them Babi, out. Please Babi, please ask him not to do so! Keep at least one!' 
'No Bubba, no cats or kittens. They make staircase dirty'
It went on for a while but I did not give in. She too went on with her school chores as if nothing happened. Next morning when she was still in school I heard distinct 'Meow' from below her cot! And there was this, golden brown ricketty kitten staring at me with his big round eyes. As soon as she entered the home returning from the school, she rushed to her room! I was waiting for her in her room. Without bothering about my protests she exclaimed, 'How cute, na Babi !' 
'But Saana I had told you, not to bring cat home' 
'Where will he go then Babi, if watchman throws him out? ' 
'But at least you should have adopted a healthy one, this one drags his hind foot, he is lame!' 
Her answer was an eye-opener to me. 'That's why I brought him to our home, healthy ones will get any home, but he requires to care the most, so I brought him !' 
That's how our first cat entered the home. Saana was hardly 5 or 6 then!

To be continued