Being a vernac medium student, I was introduced to English literature a bit late, in the 1st year of college. No Hardy Boys or Famous Fives for me. I read Pearl Buck's, Nobel Prize winner 'The Good Earth' when I was 17 and was so enthralled that I did not realize it may come true for many of us in later years. Trials and tribulations of a simple Chinese peasant, in opium afflicted Pre Mao China, his rise from poor land labour to big landlord and ultimately getting trapped again in the same scenario where his precede-rs went, in the opium jungle thereby bringing down his journey of life to square one, a story that is so universal that in a different sense it got repeated in my life too.
Coming from well-educated Landowners' family from father's side and aristocratic British servants' family from mother's side I can not say that we were absolutely 'Have nots'. But many a twist later due to situations beyond anybody's control we were left being a lower middle class family with not exactly hand to mouth but meagre existence in Pune's dilapidated Wada, where we had to share the toilet with 10 other families for morning ablutions. A simple case of Diarrhea was a nightmare in that situation.
Belonging to 3.5% population of Maharashtra, merit was the only way out from that ghetto. Hard work does not have an alternative so I could get admitted to Medical school with efforts and dedication, I must say at this juncture that, maybe genetically I was gifted so it became easier. I do not wish to go into the details but my father's true 'Zamindar' colours became imminent and we were left with difficult day to day existence as part of life. Though matriculate at that time my mother took the job of a school teacher, for which her take-home salary was Rs 20 a month. For Rs 3 a month she used to walk miles to take tuitions of wards of labourers in not so clean areas of Pune around today's Phule market. And thus I could finish my medical education on free ship as a ward of the primary school teacher.
Today when I sit in my 14th-floor apartment in a posh locality of Mumbai I am reminded of that Chinese Peasant from Pearl Buck's novel 'The Good Earth'.
I too had to struggle to come to this status, many a time bodily, at times consuming time, at times even selling out soul while trying to remain afloat in strong counter currents. But everything achieved was on pure merit! Now I move around in a circle where they talk of Foreign jaunts, profit-making investments all the time. Women are never tired of talking about their new solitaires or nth piece of jewellery that lies on the top of the already existing pile. Many a time I am pulled in, reluctantly but without able to deny the fact, that I too belong, money-wise, status wise to THE group. To bring myself back to the reality I have to remind myself of my patients from downtrodden areas who simply can not afford to buy simple medicine or get essential but a bit expensive lab test done. And then I start wondering where do I stand in this chaos?
Just upping the tainted glasses of my air-conditioned car does not alienate me from the stark reality outside. But at the same time I feel, do I really belong there? Spitting, publicly urinating uneducated squatting lot but politically aware all the same. Too aware at times! The so-called social workers, read politicians in white clothes and shoes, amongst them, instigating them on trivial issues many times but really caring too hoots about them when it is necessary. I shudder, I cringe when I have to deal with them. At times I am just scared. When thorough cleaning of the gulley was required, a temple came on the nullah with the patronage of a local politician within a flash of time adding to the filth and cacophony. I had tried to put sense into pro porter but when temple went on becoming big, I had to withdraw just out of fear. In my own country!
In my own profession too, now, you are there either because of your caste lineage or because your father has piled stacks of money in the backyard, merit taking a back seat! And I am scared to raise my voice against the discrepancies, though my kith and kin are being meted out unequal treatment, when opposite was guaranteed by the constitution, in my own country!
From 3.5%, highly educated, reached where I am today with my efforts and merit, as a sensitive intelligent individual, why I am feeling that I am an alien amongst my own!
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