Selfie !

In many Hollywood movies after a major emotional upheaval one is asked, what he or she is going to do next. The answer that comes out is very solemn.I am setting out to find myself. May be for a year or so I will take sabbatical , may be, go to India on the banks of Ganges, Banaras or Tibet to live with Lamas to find who  am I ! Who am I ?

Indians never have this luxury. They run chore after chore to fulfill the duties assigned to them by society, culture, religion. They don't have time to search themselves, to peep inside to look for what they are !

Really who are we, not as westerners,  nor as Indians. I was trying to explain my inner turmoil to a friend who burst out laughing as if I have gone mad. I had asked him, ' We say , this is my arm , this is my head, this my nose. All these organs seem to be different but the common factor that binds them is 'My'. Meaning this 'My' is different than arm, head, nose, yet it definitely is part of the entire imbroglio. This Me defines my entire stature but who decides this Me.'

I have seen my own children, children of my siblings, my friends, growing up since they were tiny new born babies. They were not that old enough, yet they showed so many characteristic traits which later became  major part of their persona when they matured into adults. In many instances the exposure to the surroundings was same, being brought up in the same family with same values but in the end everybody turned out to be a totally different individual in his/her own right, of course not bad or good but different.

In the class where my tiny tots were sent, one or two bullies were always there, mind you at the age of 3 to 4 yrs, and many meekly surrendered to their atrocities, even innocent, like pulling the hair, putting color on the clothes, nonetheless atrocities in the end. What makes them to do so, and what makes others to surrender to them ? XYY, XXY whatever is not the only answer.

We grow as we age. We start becoming an individual in our own right. By 16,17,18 we develop our own opinions about ourselves and the world around us. Who and what steers this, not change but the entire building up of a character? That 'Me'. The one that forms an entire world with 'Me' at the center. With his/her personal thinking process, outlook , an opinion about his/her inner self. Id, Ego, Super ego may be scientific terms just to define the method, but what forms Id why Ego is so strong or why Super Ego develops in few and completely lacks in some. Psychology may not have all the answers.  

The decisions can never be good or bad, it's the results which are correct or wrong. But who makes us to take those particular decisions at that particular juncture which may change the entire course of the journey. We may call it intelligence, may be application of logic, but how does it develop in certain people and others are deprived of the faculty even if they are traveling in the same boat. Or is it extremely random ? Right man, at the right place at the right time. If it's so what's the propriety of that being Me. Learned Me.

Many many questions. I am not a philosopher neither am I trying to fit in the shoes of those saints who faced the same dilemma while confronting the life. In fact no body confronts the life as there is 'No choice', you just go through the rigmarole  with your inbuilt capacity to tackle. And how that is built up is another question ?!

    

 

Pappu: Must resign: from the Indian politics

India is the only country where merit does not count almost in all the fields. Politics topping the list unabashedly. To be frank, Pappu shouldn't have been there in the first place because apart from his pedigree he does not have any qualification to speak off.[Only when he speaks off, invariably he puts his foot in the mouth, his own mouth that is, that's apart ! ] [Explanation for the beginners.] At the drop of the hat he keeps on asking for the resignations of one minister or the other, even democratically elected P.M. Mr Modi is not spared at times, it would be worth that he steps down from the post, whatever, he is holding with the immediate effect because all the facade now is exposed with Headley coming out with naming of Isharat Jehan as LeT agent.
Of course, the juggernaut has started rolling, so, much dust is going to be in the air, but one thing, that has become clear is,  Isharat Jehan does not seem to be what she was being painted, by her so many fathers  [Pun unintended.][ Oh I forgot the word God ], or should I say, caretakers. Whatever, she had many sympathizers from very local, Mr Jitendra Avad to little less local Mr Sharad Pawar to national Mr Nitishkumar.  The most intriguing part is that it's made amply apparent by many institutions that in the information revealed by Mr Headley now, nothing is new. He had disclosed about Isharat long long ago when he was interrogated in the U.S. of America. If such is the case, the Point of grave concern is, if the previous government was knowing about the true picture why did they hound the Gujrat Police? Why did CBI give clean chit to Isharat, under whose pressure the whole operation of 'Malign [right from] Mr Modi to Mr Shah to Gujrat police' was carried out? Pappu is still crying hoarse about the injustice. Haha!
The second point of serious, really serious concern is, the Youth Wing of JNU, that's definitely patronized by Pappu and his party condemns hanging of Afzal Guru shamelessly under the guise of cultural program. As we all know that Afzal Guru was a Kashmiri Muslim,[ so many layers of politics, national pride ? to hell with it ] who had planned an armed attack, on the most sacred institute of Indian Democracy, the Parliament, which by the timely intervention of the Indian forces was aborted and he was caught red-handed. His crime was proved in the highest institution of justice of this country, The Supreme Court and was executed by his own government. And Pappu holds the second-highest post in such an outfit! And he is asking for justice?  Haha!
Sorry, any loss of life is a thing to be felt sorry for. But Mr Rohit's death was politicized beyond shame by Mr.Pappu and company. The English language Prestitutes who always want P.M. Mr Modi to be painted in a bad light, came to his help and the entire episode was turned in to free for all fracas  'la wrestling ring' style! The fog was deliberately created so the true picture never became evident. His organization though had Dr Ambedkar's name, functioned not only for Dalits but covered many other political issues not concerning Dalits at all, condemning Yakub Memon's hanging was one of them. A fact that was not duly highlighted by the English Prestitutes [in fact was hidden from the public eye deliberately, ] but went on harping about his Dalit card which later on turned out to be false. He was an OBC converted to Christianity! Again a piece of information, deliberately withheld, he still is referred to as 'Dalit student'. We in Maharashtra are really fortunate enough to not get the 'Farmer's suicides' on the caste basis! So far so good, God knows when Pappu will be briefed by Diggibaba in this respect and He may really come out with it!
Last but not least. Nowhere in the world, it's a done thing. The students deciding who their dean should be! In FTII ultra [ over ] smart, openly Left-wing students go on strike against Mr Gajendra Chuhan's appointment as the dean. They shouted saffronization!  Never heard them shouting ' Commies are coming ' in the past ever. It's not the first time they had gone on strike, even when stalwarts in theatre and films, like Mr Girish Karnad and Dr Mohan Agashe headed the institute, they had made the institute standstill.  So calibre, artistic potential of the person in the chair was never an issue. And Pappu jumps in the fray! Thunders,' RSS instrumental in bringing Mr Chauhan '. I am not a practising Hindu, but the work done by RSS on the social front is just phenomenally exemplary. Even their distractors must agree. And this lad, with his half genes Italian, what does he really know about the genuine Indian ethos and the RSS!
Enough of this monkey play now. Pappu must step down from whatever post he is holding in whatever organization, that is bullying the country with the strength of only 40!

Being A Doctor Part 2

After reading a few comments on my last blog I am really perplexed, but thanks, it motivated me to continue further.
This is neither justification nor defence of my profession in any way, I just would like to change the perspective in general, in my own small way, if I can.
I am going to restrict myself strictly to the way I became Doctor, that is on pure merit. I myself don't like, neither I am party to any other ways of admission to Medicine or for that matter any other course where merit must count.
The boys and the girls who shine in their 12th, are the cynosure of all the eyes before they enter the Medicine but as soon as they come out of Medical school, they become Money sucking leaches without any morals and responsibilities towards society, in the eyes of the society which itself is sick to the core. I have a strong objection to this very thinking. These are gifted lads and lasses coming from good families, with good family values and with their heads firmly on their shoulders where they should be. Overnight they can not become Shylocks.
This profession is mostly maligned due to bad publicity by the presstitutes. In all Medical schools, say KEM of Mumbai for example, thousands of patients are treated every day with exemplary results but one bad case and right from the Politicians with dubious past and morals to the press that's always hungry for sensationalism rather than the true facts and the common man who does not understand the intricacies of Medicine as science with all its shortcomings, jump into the fray relentlessly and ask for their pound of flesh even if the Doctors are not at fault. It's just a statistics and it is applicable to Medical field like any other, that 100% results can not be guaranteed. On the contrary, Medicine is not mathematics, so one plus one could be from two to eleven, with so many factors operating on the human body many of which are still unknown to mankind. Unfortunately, this is the way the things are, which neither politicians nor presstitutes explain to the Indian patient who is more gullible, illiterate than his counterpart from the developed countries. On the contrary, they exploit the feelings of the deprived to their benefit and make the matters worse for everybody. Because in the end if the doctors are right, mostly they are, the one who suffers the most is a poor patient or his relatives. But to start with the doctors suffer unnecessarily. Their morale gets affected and the hospitals come to standstill because every other day doctors are getting bitten up left, right and centre for no fault of theirs irrespective of the law, that at the most is like a toothless tiger existing only on the paper.
It's not that the ball is never in the Doctors' court but the law of averages that applies to the society, in general, applies to the doctors too. If 10% of the society is bad then you will definitely find 10% of doctors on the wrong foot. But those who are caught are projected so much that we lose the perspective of the entire scenario.
Nobody, nobody in India feels that sickness is part of life, part of living and one must make necessary provision for the same. Even those, literate ones, who opt for Medical insurance feel, it's a waste of money if they don't get the money back what they have paid as premium.  I have got so many requests from such individuals to get them admitted only because they are medically insured just to claim the monetary benefit by inflating the bills.  Those who shout against the Medical profession should work on this thinking first.
It's a law that needy should get the treatment if required in an emergency until the further managements are made. But it's not clear who is going to foot the bill for disposables, medicines, services that are used when nothing comes free for the Doctors or their institutions. On the contrary Electricity, boards count even small hospitals as commercial ventures and charge accordingly. No concessions for Humanitarian work! As Government thinks it is in an emergency .
The medical bill in its entirety mostly comprises of 1. Cost of the Medicines 2. Pathological Investigations 3. Bed charges and so many other mundane things, with doctor's share amounting to not more than 10%, but it's the Doctor who takes the flack.
When the Government asked to dispense the drugs/medicines under generic names, it were not the doctors who objected but the pharmaceutical companies who cried the wolf. Should it happen, simple paracetamol that is costing Rs Three at present would come down to thirty paise? Nobody seems to be fighting for this cause, including the government, the pharma companies, the chemists and druggist till the last shackle in the chain, the consumer bodies. Unfortunately, I have seen it many times that the patient who pays for these drugs through his nose, haggles for the doctor's fees, in fact, which should not be negotiable. Many a time I have felt like a vegetable vendor on the corner, fighting for his last cent. In such cases, I just give up on my fees rather than lowering my self to the level of cheap bania. [ Caste and profession not intended, attitude is what I mean. ]
As of now, no science is perfect, it's only change that's constant. Medicine is no exception.  With the explosion of knowledge Doctors themselves are finding it difficult to cope up with the splurge of knowledge, so the advent of super specialities. A development common man on the street is failing to understand. Maybe because he has a shoestring budget but that's not the fault of the doctors. If the ailment requires further intervention, it has to be carried out. period!
A dictum, which is applicable to every walk of life is, ' If you want quality you have to pay for it.'  So if you don't have monies in your pocket,  treatment in hospitals like Hinduja or Jaslok is not available for you, period. You have to go to the public hospitals where it may not be possible simply because of sheer numbers. But isn't it applicable to every walk of life? Tea available on a street-side cart is no different in a big way than the one offered at Taj, but nobody has created any ruckus about the pricing, to my knowledge at least. All Indians want Hinduja like treatment, if possible free of cost, thanks to our socialistic attitude that has spoilt us beyond repairs, but if not, at the lowest possible Municipality rates. That too may be possible theoretically but then what about the bed strength, qualified staff, equipment, ultra-modern gadgetry, medicines and so many other things that do not come cheap! Who should pay for it, even if the minimum? Think about our needy over-sized population too, at this juncture.
A society that accepts, no welcomes the likes of Salman Khan or Sanjay Dutt is a sick society. And it's heinous to compare the doctors with these criminals [ one proved, other on the anvil ] Are we not observing the decay in the moral fibre of the society all around us? A noble profession like 'Education' is grabbed by the thugs who proclaim to be Kings of Education, and the real teachers are reduced to lowly paid pawns. The nomenclature Social worker has become a mockery of the real one. Goons have captured all the legislative bodies and nobody can raise even an eyebrow for the fear of life. Inept morons dream to hold the highest post in the country and we can do nothing!
In such a situation how can one expect only doctors to be above all, it's unfair.

Two Feet In The Past

BBC used to run a program titled ' One Foot in The Past' a few years ago. It used to take the viewers on a trip of the past with a bit of nostalgia thrown in. 

After Namo ascended the throne, maybe not his doing but, many Indians are now on a euphoric trip of the past, Indian past only, almost landing there on their  two feet, hence the title' Two feet in the past.' No nostalgia here, 'chest-thumping in utmost glee' is the attitude! Suddenly everything Indian has become not only classic but somebody not buying the entire idea may be labelled as Non-Indian, unpatriotic. Is it a new phenomenon or was it always there? I always palpably felt it for years but now it seems that it has got vent to come out.
Being an Asian country, India too inherited a lot of baggage on her back, of the multitude of religions, the traditions, closed minds and the greatness that was blurry at the most, but to take [pseudo] pride in its glory was always the thing to boast! Nothing of that glory remained by the onslaught of time but the pride was always there! Except for a mention on the pages of obscure scriptures [ by Indians only], the rest of the world just did not notice it. Neither we had concrete proof of our glorious past, inventions, progress and hints of highly advanced civilized society, nor could we prove it to the world beyond doubt, like Egypt did.
Over the years we progressed but as my friend's father had said once, 'We got the industrialization but  the revolution that is supposed to come along, just did not step on the Indian soil.'  Or did he say Indian mind? We always remained plebeians at the heart.
It's an observation that one who is mediocre always brags more. Really intelligent one is deep enough to understand the shallowness of bragging.
We brag that our civilization is great because of its traditions, religions and culture. The Same culture to date does not allow women to enter certain religious places. And here in India, it surprisingly works in unison, transcending all the religious and sectional barriers.
We have such a strange decoction of cultures that you maybe belonging to different religions but the core remains the same. So India has Brahmans in Goan Christians and all the sub-castes of Hindus are seen in Indian Muslims too.  The religions that are supposed to be caste-less! This happens only in India.
More disturbing is the fact that education does not alter the scenario even by a small dent. Highly educated professionals from all walks of life, not only from  Medical sciences but also from engineering, commerce and others, take pride in following these vacuous Indian traditions that defy normal, sane behaviour.
Thus I know many a surgeon who cleanse the operation theatre spiritually before taking the patient on the table and those who hold a degree like MBBS prescribe medicines which don't have any authenticity but only because they are pro ported by Ayurvedic cult.
An engineer from the south who runs an atomic plant at Kalpakkum does not venture out in Rahu kalam. Or MBA from Ahmadabad does not bat an eyelid while accepting the dowry from equally qualified same caste girl.
In India, marriages are still not bonds between two budding romantics but a dry liaison between two families where boy's family always holds the upper hand, not leaving any opportunity to fleece the bride's family monetarily as well as emotionally and that's traditional Indian culture for you!
Every walk of life, is littered with so many idiosyncrasies, that I really wonder why we call our culture the great?  Religion so hopelessly intertwines with every aspect of life, be it medicine, social life, festivals and last but not the least the politics,  that it has now become impossible to segregate them.
China and Japan have done that. They, especially Japanese follow their culture with due respect no doubt, but do not allow it, to interfere with its scientific, political and commercial milieu. In China Hon. Mao Tse Tung did that, maybe forcibly but now nobody can see China in the eyes on every front. They do have their one foot in their glorious past but other is marching forward, towards a brilliant bright future!
On the contrary, we Indians, keep on taking the pride in our glorious albeit unproven past,[ that may be a moot point, so even with proven past,] and refuse to come out of the history that has given us nothing but caste wars, draconian misogynist traditions and bleak future. Why are we so obsessed with history? It's a presence that makes the future. If we want to have rosy tomorrow we have to discard the notion that we were great and then,  have to start literally from the scratch with a blank slate, work very hard and  say 'We will be great'
Till then we are having both our feet firmly in the past!

Being a Doctor

In India an adolescent around 16 -17 is made, practically forced, to make a decision about his/her entire life which can not be changed even if he/she feels afterwards that it doesn't suit him/her, that's the way our system is! Does someone at 16/17 have that much maturity to think for life that in most modest terms is complex?  I asked many of my colleagues, why did they opt for this profession and the answers were more varied than the rainbow. I myself, why talk about the others, went for Medicine because I could not decide and certain options were just not available. Of course, there are few who are more mature for their age, but they are really few and are gifted ones!

After spending 45 years in the field I can, bit proudly say that I did justice, in my own, whatever, way to the profession, but it took me several years to understand really what I was into. But if .. big if, I am given a chance to change would I? Yes. Big yes. In today's scenario having the same IQ, or whatever yardsticks you use to measure the intelligence, if one opts for Medicine at 17 and other goes for any other course, say IT, Engineering, CA, Medicine fellow slogs so much till his 30s, that by that time others could easily become millionaire, that's the first.

The hardships one has to face for getting into the course at every level are phenomenally tough whether at an Undergraduate or Postgraduate or Super speciality level. And they don't end even after you clear out with flying colours. Sons of big daddies who have spent crores on getting their lads into Medicine, have it so easy that right from the degree to post-graduation to ready-made hospital, everything is laid on the red carpet, they just have to step on! Those from the categories more or less opt for the government jobs which come to them as if served on the silver platters. But someone like me coming from the middle class with pure merit as his only asset has to toil so much, that the entire ordeal becomes, that's it, the ordeal! So Class discrimination is the next! But does the patient know, whether he is being treated by the really meritorious deserving one or by someone who is there only because of his caste or his daddy's big money!

I envy my friends from other professions for one more reason. Those at my level of field experience [ and age of course ] have to deal with somebody with equal IQ, expertise and experience.  

Me? Even at this age and with the vast experience I have to deal with, from an illiterate grandmother in her late fifties to freshly passed out IITian oozing out with internet knowledge with equal elan, to tell you the truth simply, it's difficult. Damn difficult to attain a different level of sainthood [ practically] for two differently-abled patients.

I may accept to a certain extent that the whole institute of 'Family Doctor' is definitely eroding fast but the doctors are not entirely responsible for it. In India, two professions are not entitled to make money. Poor teachers and Doctors. Theirs are professions, rest are businessmen. So if Bania on the corner loots everybody in the broad daylight that's allowed but it's like, 'Doctor always catches you in the corner' because we don't make a budget for the sickness!

Being a doctor has so many connotations, but the worst is ' Nobody treats [ ! ] the Doctor as a human being. Either he's a God or a Satan, never a simple human being like every other person or professional. If he makes you well in the least amount of money, in shortest possible time he is a GOD but if he does not then the hell breaks loose on him, he is no less than the Satan! At this juncture everybody conveniently forgets that ' The pt was your old mother in her 90s', 'The disease was chronic and does not have remedy', 'We are in India with African facilities and American knowledge.' and here it sucks, really sucks. Even after practising for more than 40 years I still dread that one bad case and I am doomed. That's being a Doctor!