Thursday, 23 February 2017

Me as a voter

Since the times they considered me eligible for voting, that to be exact, 43 years ago, I had been religiously voting in every election held till now, except this one! The candidates whom I voted so far, almost always lost, if got elected by chance, their party lost. So all in all my vote was always wasted. And the change occurred. Winds started blowing in a different direction, and Indian national Corrupt[ INC party], started losing foothold practically in all areas, including lowest level at municipal elections. 
But going by the accounts may be planted news in daily newspapers and mostly, bought electronic media, in this election, the picture was extremely gloomy. Right from the selection of the candidates, distribution of the tickets to whirlwind propaganda [ what else could it be called, the campaign seems to be a very mild word] every party stooped to such a low level of civility that every leader and his candidates[ Henchmen?] almost looked like tartars from the middle ages barging ahead to loot the richest corporation in India. With no bars held, it was, call it 'Tamasha, Nautanki', whatever, of first-order held at a red light area of any city. Abuses were hurled left, right and centre, contrived charges, without any concrete proof what so ever, were made without bothering about the dignity of the person, more importantly, the post they are holding. And like any civilized sober human being, I started feeling,'This is not my game.' I do not want anything out of the normal legal ways from these elected representatives as they never ever represent my class, 'Erudite, educated, well informed and legally well-behaved people.' On the contrary in my profession, even though I am in every which way, on the right foot vis a vis a patient, this rogue corporator is never going to educate the wrongly informed, ill-conceived, semi-literate abusive party worker but is going to instigate him against me!
Though I had made my mind, not to vote, even not to exercise 'NOTA' as I had done in past elections, I did go to the booth. In fact, I could have exercised 'NOTA' again, but really, does it count in a country like India where more than half the population does not understand the meaning of democracy in the first place For 'NOTA' to be effective the electorate has to mature, at least up to some level. 
There was this huge queue of low brow [Sorry, extremely personal opinion] voters jostling to get the voter's number from the clerk. She looked absolutely exasperated. Being a polling officer she had to be compulsorily polite, though every odd one, from party worker to actual voter, who could have been illiterate maid to semi-literate factory worker was trying to bother her from every angle. As usual 'Voters' lists were inaccurate.After waiting in the scalding sun for 30 minutes or so and not getting my number I lost my cool and started venturing homewards. And I got the shock of my life. 
On a big board, the information, personal as well as economic, of every candidate was displayed in bold letters. Out of 14 odd ones, only one was postgraduate, hardly two or three graduates but more than 70% were school dropouts, not completing even 10th!  One was under trial if convicted could be behind the bar for at least 3 to 4 years!
Me, my son, daughter and every child in my near circles, had to appear for dozens of qualifying examinations to get into professional courses. And here to run the profession of the richest corporation of India anybody and everybody is eligible, no qualification, what so ever is required! No wonder nepotism, corruption, bribery is rampant in these institutions and at times the decorum of the house is brought to the level of the fish market!
I could not wait for a second more and for the first time in my life I came back without voting and I don't feel guilty! 

Tuesday, 21 February 2017

War of Roses with masks !

There was this movie, called "War of Roses" starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner, an absolutely disgusting narrative on something like a marriage that could be beautiful, serene and romantic. The relationship between these two individuals goes so sour, that one feeds the other a dish made from the meat of his beloved dog! I just abhorred and cringed.

What the heck, what this relationship mambo jumbo is all about! Over the last 50 years, I have been trying to decipher the code that garners a good relationship but that has eluded me so far. Of course in the tender age, I did not understand the intricacies of the word but I did feel the rejection. Though as kids, we all were at the same level, good looking among-st us were preferred over the darker one and sharp-tongued like me, in simple gestures like distributing sweets or buying cherished things. I went to school without an umbrella or raincoat of my own for years together. Went to school barefoot for a complete one year when I lost my foot-wares while playing at a friend's place. So the game starts very early.
In my own way, I tried to float above the waters utilizing all resources available at my disposal but this relationship bug always pulled me down. I never understood, what leads to a really good, tension-free relationship, may it be with anybody, right from your parents to your siblings, your friends or last but not the least your spouse.

Few myths those got dispelled on the journey though were eye-openers but did not help in any run, short or long.
Transparency, Faith, Open mind, Capacity to forgive, oh so many, in the end, myths only!

Transparency: I have seen many a fool, opening their entire pack of cards in front of their partner for developing healthy co-existence, at the outset One pertinent fact that is forgotten here is, that the other one in the deal, is completely Another Human Being, made from an altogether different mould, who in all circumstances is just not like you and maybe having totally different views on the subject. In fact, in many a case, that other one uses the information as a weapon, subsequently, in the 'War of Roses' which are inevitable in any liaison between two separate individuals.

Same goes for the open-mindedness. You are at ease in certain relationships but that might not be so. You might just come out with whatever you feel earnest but even in close, so-called, relationships words are twisted and you are not even given a chance to explain. Being a physician in a profession for more than 40 years once with an open mind I gave some advice to one who definitely required some psychological counselling. Rather than prodding for the reasons I was labelled and shouted at. There goes the open mind in the air!

And you forgive, feeling that 'That's the end, whatever happened, happened. Let's move on !'
Like Julia Roberts says to an Avant-Garde shopkeeper on Rodeo Drive, Hollywood in 'Pretty Woman'; 'Mistake, Big mistake' In any relationship between two individuals 'Ability to forgive ' is considered as weakness. More so in married couples. So it's always a big mistake. It gives the chance to others who have erred, to commit the same crime again, and this time more blatantly. There is no fear to be caught and if caught, other one is always ready to forgive.  

Faith and respect are next in the line. Bookish words. Absolutely. Faith, something you develop over the years but it takes only a few sentences to shatter it. What has gone in, to erect that monumental edifice of relationship comes down in seconds. And it's so fragile. Breaks even with the whisper of a rumour! In how much earnestness it is proclaimed is also a subject for research. Many times it's just a hollow word thrown on your face without any meaning whatsoever. Respect is a twin of faith, what goes for faith goes 100% for respect too.

Long back I myself had written ' If one wears mask inside the mask what's the point ?'
But unfortunately, the world loves masks. It's a done thing to have a facade. So if you drop your one, even with good intentions you had it! To be successful in any relationship, you must have a million masks, to use one for every situation even with the near and dear ones!
In any relationship, where you have to think twice before saying anything, weigh the words before uttering them, don't feel like saying something discreet, that relationship is not honest, neither transparent nor open, and tell me a single relationship where this game of hide and seek is not played with gusto! Masks everywhere, on each face and if one slips, invariably there is another one beneath that's equally garish and equally unreal!

Thursday, 16 February 2017

Play with colors !

Once when I was into it, every thing started looking as if a painting by that great artist above. Colors started yelling in my head to give them escape on the canvas. And I painted painted and painted.
Dusk always brings not only mixed bag of emotions but plethora of colors on the canvas of western skies. I was longing to express that warmth from within on board. But it did not turn out to be that simple as was seen within. I was new to the medium, Acrylic, and it posed many unforeseen problems for me. Though they get dry much faster than the oils, mixing of colors to get the right, rather exact shade becomes too difficult. By the time you are ready to mix, the first  coat  has already gone dry and you are left high and dry ! And mixing with the dried coat is  impossible ! So the balance of time is extremely important. As soon as the first layer of color is about to get dry you have to be ready with another shade, in ample amounts, to start mixing. Here the strokes of the brush are very important. Once you start having another hue, you can not go back to adjust the previous tone otherwise everything gets mixed up and you get a totally different shade you never wanted ! 

Sky posed one, waters posed another problem.All the shades if  not done properly ,look flat .So for the reflections, the waves , the play of colors on the waters I had to use different techniques, thanks to my young teacher, and then it showed what I wanted to. Stormy sea in the background with golden hue, a stretch of sands in between with reflection of setting sun in its all regalia, full with warm colors.! The ghats and the canopies I drew and painted but looked static. To add the play of light and shades to them, made my enthusiasm take a back seat. But temporarily ! After lot of thinking and mixing of the colors I got the correct effect I wanted, but my hands took a toll as I had to keep them steady for a long, long time. After adding the small details I was happy with myself and felt, yes, it does give you inner peace !
The same place , same ghats at different times. I saw it on the frame of my mind and felt I must do it. This was bit easier, as by this time the use of brushes was easier in hands, had got the feel of colors and some more technique. And I was happy with myself. Is it not what you really want ? To be happy with yourself ?
The folds of the cloth worn around the head gave me much headache.Rather than working on it as whole, I went on painting in pieces and got the results I wanted.The old lady is sick so the bluish lips. The eye which is visible shows life, while one may get the feel of other behind the semi transparent cloth of headgear, tried hard to get the effect. Deliberately left to paint the eye of other lady to keep the feel of 'Painting' which I never wanted to be realistic !

Famous sculptor Late B.Vitthal once had taught me that'The colors in the back ground have to come from colors you use to paint the main figures.' I used the tip and the figures stood out. I do not want to go into details of the last one, How is it ? You tell me.

My tryst with colors will definitely continue but what the hell to do with the life around you that's trying to engulf you all the time , how to deal with that journey ?

Wednesday, 15 February 2017

Tryst with the paints

After decades I took paint brush in hands after a friend practically forced me in to it . On seeing my half finished painting, an Estonian who was residing with us then, commented 'Is it a therapy , that you are painting?' Though I was not surprised it made me think.Yes in a way it was therapeutic.
When you are in mid sixties it's taken for granted that you have made truce with the life and here after, it's going to be tranquil waters , you just have to sail through waiting for your final adieu. But if life behaves that predictably why call it life ! I had to face such a situation where my foundation shook me so hard that it left me  absolutely numb.I was left in such a state of affairs that whatever I lived so far, as if did not matter.Just went down the drain. The values which I cherished for years made me come to a pass where those values seemed redundant, outdated and totally useless. I went on cursing myself for days together and found no answers, from within and from nobody outside and I was like a blind left in the lands of vivid colors and lights. Time heals all wounds but it takes its own time which nobody really has.
And this friend became that torch for me who helped me overcome my hollows, my emptiness that weird feeling in the pit of tummy,with this god given gift of creativity.
I painted in the past too. But then the circumstances were different.It was just a past time then. But now the entire relevance had changed changing me along the way.
This time around I started feeling happy with every stroke I made on the canvas.
First efforts looked juvenile on the board but the subsequent trials started showing on the board that I had envisaged in the mind .  
Years ago I had taken few of my painting to Late Smt. Praffulla Dahanukar, a great artist and more over a great human being , whom I knew through Late B. Prabha another great artist till times immortal. After seeing my efforts in oil on canvas she had said, 'Doc, you have got it in you but it requires a bit of polishing. I'll arrange for a help, you just tell me your timings and he will come to your home to teach you the intricacies of the craft.' In those days spare time hardly came by and I did not want the bindings on my Sundays. I made some excuses and slipped away. What a fool I was !
I did not want to commit the same mistake again this time around. So went on searching for the guides. It turned out, unfortunately that these so called Art schools either consider you absolutely juvenile or ask you to copy . They just do not understand what it means by 'Originality.' After visiting at least 3 to 4 schools I chose the one,nearest to my home, that was singular criterion to choose.Distance from the home ! My instructor was not as senile as me but turned out to be a young nubile college student who understood the need and taught me many techniques which definitely helped.
And thus it started my tryst with Paints yet again with vigor and  vitality !