Single Child

Neither I am one nor I have. What prompted me to search on the subject was a young girl in her early teens, of course, single child, with peculiar problems. Most of her problems seemed minor ones but the parents were not happy. Especially the mother. Actually, it was sort of deja vu. Around two decades ago I had a similar case, a girl in early teens appearing for some important examination came to see me, accompanied by her mother, single parent, as the husband was working abroad. Again an Only Child. That's how they are referred to as, in medical literature 'Only Children' who do not have any type of sibling, half, step or otherwise, cousins barred. Every time, when the daughter tried to communicate with me, mother took the reigns of conversation in her hands and spoke for her daughter thus.' We are tired of studies, We do not want to put in more than 4 hours even though the exams are this near. We do not like homemade food but prefer junk food. We rather than playing outdoors, love to watch TV for hours.' She went on and on. The rules imposed were strict, expectations were sky high and the tone was that of patronizing. The mother did not have the opportunities so she was trying her utmost to make them available for her daughter. The word that jarred me the most was 'WE'! Having only child and husband being away, this lady, the mother was so involved, rather was so much interfering with the life of the child that her very right to be an individual was being snatched away. It was as if a working unit of mother and daughter! I tried to counsel but it was too late!

And this time it clearly dawned upon me that the problem is not with the child but with this species, the Mother!

Any specimen from this special species, is highly educated and qualified [ both are not the same, necessarily], sitting at home, either by choice or out of other compulsions, a non-working mother who Dotes, Loves, Cares Cooks for her single, Only child, 24 into 7 ! And that becomes her only passion, profession, goal, aim, to carve out an exemplary adult out of her not so above average child! Thus starts the interference with the life of a child that continues even after they are beyond milk-drinking age, metaphorically and in a truer sense also! If the only child is the daughter 'God Forbid...!'

She takes decisions not only about his/her hobbies but with whom the child should befriend! If the standards are not met with, on any level, the friend is cut off though the child vibes well with him/her. One of my aunts cut off many such friends of my cousin, an only child, but every time he went ahead and befriended one of his kind, which my aunt never liked but never realized that it was her son who wanted so! 

Once, one of my acquaintances had come to stay with us, as her 'M.B.B.S.' daughter was to appear for 'M.D.' entrance exams. While we chatted away, this mother of a daughter, checked ten ball pens whether they were writing good or not, so that the child should not face any problem while writing the answers! Another one was doling out instructions after instructions to her only son who was pursuing a degree in higher engineering at out of the station prestigious institution, so naturally was staying in a hostel! She was just not allowing him to bloom on his own terms at his own will! Another one, 'Only' daughter forced her husband to give up his high post lucrative job in plush Europe to take up one in the arid Middle East where expatriates live life in nothing but Ghettos!

The values to be inculcated are not done at the gunpoint! Children pick them up while growing up, by observing their near and dear ones, especially their parents, how they behave in the given situation, are they true to their word, is the love true, are they pushing too much, Oh, it depends on so many things! And there is a certain age to imbibe, beyond that, the child either becomes mama's boy, thus getting ridiculed by the peer or rebels, that's but natural because in my opinion the one who does not rebel by raising the questions against the ill-conceived traditions, is not fit enough to call himself a youth! To rebel is the right of youth!

Unfortunately, the phenomenon is new to Indian society where multiple children is still a norm. Only recently this trend is catching on. So we don't have much research on the subject in the Indian context! Because of 'One Child' per family' policy in China, the subject was studied extensively, but there too, the focus was on the child and not on the circumstances those forced the child to become what he/she turned out to be! Wisely policy was withdrawn in 2005 for a multitude of reasons. Increase in crime rate being one! Consensus among-st the researchers is' These children do not have 'Agreeableness'. Naturally, as the indulgence by the parents especially the mothers, in Indian context 'Non-Working' mothers is beyond agreeable limits, which is done in full faith that 'It's done for the well being of the child !' Sorry I disagree, If you don't want your child to rebel, leave the noose, loose!

Gulabjam

After watching 'Gulabjam' a Marathi film on a man chef [ A rare concept in Marathi middle class milieu], or who wants to be one, one of my friends commented,'Less Milk solids, [Khawa], more flour, [Maida]'. Very aptly put. Though it's now running in its 4th or 5th week, damn a good show for a Marathi movie, I too had found it insipid. It does have all the ingredients to make a good film but somewhere along the line, it has missed the bull's eye. It does not have that 'Zing!'

But let me assure you that to make real 'Gulabjam'; too is equally arduous. Ask me.

I do like to dabble in the kitchen, as it's like a catharsis, as well as it's extremely creative, but it was never my dream to be a chef like, how they say in Master Chef. I have come a long way from.' I can't or He can not, make even a good cup of tea' Which I can not because I am a coffee person!

Today after experimenting for the nth time I may be in a position to say, I can dole out 'Gulabjams' those are mostly edible.

I started with Khawa, made especially for Gulabjams, that came from Pune. Pune is famous for it and gets it from nearby rural areas made by the local farmers. Though I could not differentiate it from the usual one! I had a vague idea about, how to go about, but to make the en-devour really successful, I referred the cookbooks and after referring the cookbooks I got more confused! There were one thousand and one recipes alone, under the subject. Some used Paneer, some did not, some used baking soda, while some, baking powder, [what's the difference ?]. Proportions of the ingredients to be added to Khawa, too changed drastically, from negligible to practically more than 50%. I decided to use my instincts and went ahead.

All-purpose flour I concluded must be as a binder, so has to be used meagerly, while semolina gives the Gulabjam that luscious grainy consistency, so has to be little liberal. Yes, at this juncture I have to tell you that I don't go by absolute measures. It's too mechanical, food has to have 'Life' in it! I decided to put a pinch of baking powder. Kneaded soft semi creamy dough with milk. And the crux of the matter! Let it be little flowy, this consistency makes Gulabjam absolutely spongy but, big big but, if it's too flowy the batter will spread in the oil so, make the balls and refrigerate for 30 minutes or so before you fry them in oil on low medium heat, which too is most important because they should turn golden gradually on low flame otherwise the crust is black and the core remains uncooked. Syrup too throws tantrums if not made properly. If too much of water, Gulabjams taste lacklustre and too thick a syrup does not sip in and you end up with hard balls!

Though my first attempt was victorious subsequent attempts bombed miserably. And my pride came crashing down. I felt I won't be able to make them so perfectly again. The second attempt was not less than a horror film. Khawa by that time, had gone stale. And I used baking soda in place of powder. As soon as the balls were in the oil, they refused to stay together and spread all over the wok! I was flabbergasted. Did not know what to do. To reduce the percentage of soda I added more flour and the effect at the outset looked acceptable. Balls floated well in oil, did not break but once in the syrup, they refused to budge. Even after soaking them for hours, syrup simply could not penetrate and they became tough nuts to crack! Could not dare to offer them to anybody, stealthily I finished them off over the days, maybe weeks!

Tried using milk powder in place of Khawa. To get good Khawa in our part of Mumbai is like getting a blue rose ! The recipe was good, edible, tasted good but the milk powder did not give up its characteristic flavour. So it was not the real thing!  Then I came upon a novel way to make Khawa at home. Of course, the source was network! Mix milk powder, full cream, milk and clarified butter in a pan and boil it, stirring all the time, till it solidifies into creamy Khawa. I assure you it tastes equally good.

The rest was as usual.

If Khawa is 5 parts, add two parts of semolina, one part of all-purpose flour, a pinch [ about 5 gms], not more than that at all, of baking soda, as the baking powder has a shelf life and after a time it loses it verve and most important, a teaspoonful of lemon juice! The reaction between the acid of the lemon and bicarb soda releases carbon dioxide and that makes your Gulabjam most fluffy and spongy! As said before resting in the fridge for 30 minutes or so make Gulabjam perfect. Try them I now have mastered the art! Come any time home, I am in need of guinea pigs !!!

Love: Myriads of Shades

To all those Love Lorn Souls
I am not a good reader. I prefer not to be. I was a voracious reader in my school days and teens but when I graduated into intellectual adult world I realized that it corrupts your thinking process and you start mouthing somebody else's thoughts. So I stopped, but not altogether. But you can not get away with somethings that you cherished as a youth. These words by Gulzar lingered so long that they etched a niche on my being.

             'I have seen [ smelt ] the fragrance of those eyes,

              Don't spoil it by alleging  relations,

              It's a realization to be felt only by your being

              Don't call it by any other name,

              Let love be love !'

Love, a many splendored thing. Or is it? It always defies the definition. What exactly it is! Is it profound feeling, an emotion felt for someone from within or just a passing phase of mind or age that vanishes in a fleeting second as the time matures. Does it really evolve over the years just by sharing the lives or the ones who are in,  plainly get habituated to each other! I don't know, I really don't know.

The word is so oft-repeated that I feel over the years it has lost its shine especially in today's youth. Nowadays they fall in love at the drop of hat but fall out of it, equally fast ! Breakups too are celebrated with full gusto! I won't call it lust but infatuation, definitely yes. Maybe play of Hormones taking the front seat, And naturally as they wane, the feeling fades too! In my generation it was for keeps, it was endeared, nurtured and it was vowed to walk into the sunset together. I have my own doubts about how many of them really walked with content and not because, it is ought to be done, so it is done!

Love at all other levels connotes totally different vibes. The Sense of longing along with belonging taking the upper crust! The human mind plays so many tricks that many a time it acts schizophrenic. It wants to belong but without getting assimilated totally! Paradoxical to say the least! That sense of self-preservation, [ego ?] transcends all the relations, including love. And so it boils down to, if you love yourself at the outset,  you may be in a position to share. Maybe!

The Indian concept of love always went through spiritualism. 'Oneness' in totality! Not two but one! Two different individuals, born differently, brought up differently, belonging to different genders, with different thinking base are expected to be or at least should try to be  'One', only because they are tied together under one pretext or the other, call it love, marriage, friendship or any near relation, say a mother and her children, siblings or even the artificially carved out concept called, the 'Nation', whatever! How it is possible, I dare not think, it's totally insane! In the end, it becomes so mushy that one feels 'Ugh'!

And Love does not come alone. It carries along with it, the baggage of similarly hollow prepositions! Sacrifice, taking the top seat. Should we call it vanity, just to pass the bar you are ready to forego with your ultimate, your being! Self! In today's times, it hardly seems possible even probable but we are fed with anecdotes after anecdotes of so-called 'Sacrifice for Love' till ad nauseum !

At one level there is every ground to think that the hyped connotation is coined by the bookworms! Our writers, mostly poets !! First Love for the first time! Sorry? Why not the first love for the third time or is there forth love the second time, for a change ?! The one who writes thus is always is in his 80s, who longs for the youth but the dentures do not allow even, to utter the word 'Love' properly! The boy or the girl who are in love, really in love for the first time, do not even realize that ' This is it !' Ask me !!
Be honest with yourself and ask, 'Have you found love, true love in any of your relationships'. No ifs and buts. And no par lances! We all run after that elusive foundation, Love throughout our life that is ultimately reduced into a futile chase to reach the other end of the rainbow !

Yes, it does give you positivity, both the word and the feeling, unfortunately, it does not last long. For perseverance in life, one requires so many other things to move on, So move on!

Padmaavat

 I am not/ was never fond of history. History is for somebody who loves to live in the past and abhors what's happening in the present. I always want everybody to concentrate on the present because the future gets shaped by it and the history gets laid down. So when so much hoopla was going on about Padmaavat; I at one level was amused and other, felt irritated. So much energy, so much material was spent on something that was 'Past', its occurrence itself, nobody is absolutely sure of. In spite of all these big questions in mind I went to see 'Padmavaat' with a clean slate, and I loved what unfolded on the Imax 3 D screen in front of me, that not only did tell the story of courage, integrity, grit, lust but above the all the inner beauty of a really beautiful queen of Mewad, Rani Padmavati, also known as Rani Padmini.

I really did not understand after seeing this version, to what really the objection was! The valour, the spirit, the strength and the values along with the ego of Rajputs comes out so vividly that I could not see any reason not to like it. The story, well may be based on a ballad by some Muslim poet,[ Malik Mohammad Jayasi], but in essence, it very well could be a depiction of those times as there are ample citations in the contemporary history about the exploits of Sultan Al-ud-din Khilji, and so why Mewad be the exception to that! 

I don't understand why the zealots do not like to see their icons as a common person in flesh and blood like you and me! All the Marathi historians too committed the same mistake. They liked to believe that all these greater than life heroes did not have normal life beyond the sword and the wars! How would they have reacted when they did not like the recipe served, or when they had a mildly upset stomach? Did they discuss all the time, the war and the political strategies within the confines of their bedroom when alone with the wife! Or did they all the time speak with that [? put on] vigour which in day to day life seems absurd! Novels after novels, play after plays were presented in the format, that ultimately it started getting stupid! 
In the same vein, why Rani Padmaavati should not be happy by doing a few steps of 'Ghoomar' in the confines of her domain along with her friends! They were not that old then [in those times] when were married off! And I don't think Mr Bhansali has crossed any limit of decency while picturizing this song! Not a single vulgar move or gesture, that's the hallmark of Bollywood! Deepika too, does justice to the 'Ghoomar' fully, by not imbibing on her part any mood or expression, not befitting the queen! Her mannerisms at times are mischievous but apt for any lady in that age, totally in love with her beloved! If at all one has to raise any objection[ In my opinion, senseless, objection for the sake of objection ], it is to this number.  But as said earlier why Rani should not have her own private pleasures in, as simple thing as doing traditional Mewad dance!

The only jarring thing was outdoor sets. They look too synthetic! Indoors, our craftsmen are masters in erecting the royal magnificence! 

Ranveer Singh scores only because the part is extremely loud and full with insane regalia. Shahid, on the contrary, is restrained but has much less to do than look decent royal Rajput! The one who looks every inch a beautiful but humane and regal queen of Mewad is, Deepika Padukone. She has filled the part with so many nuances that you stand for her in ovation! As a person too she seems to have her head firmly on her shoulders when she retorted to morons by simply saying' Take the picture in totality with reference to the context'

So true! How can you force today's values on the happenings of the past? Rather than accepting the sex slavery of Al-ud-din Khilji for her and of soldiers for her kith, kin and friends the decision of Jouhar was the only option as it was the order of the day! To drag it down to the vaginal level is not only inhuman and biased but plainly moronically stupid. In short, the pig head did not understand the essence of dignity, honour and respect! Some fool categorized the whole junk being definitely partial to Nay speakers! To everybody its own! 

For me, it was an experience worth a watch and I may say, it's the best from Mr Bhansali so far!

Sundarbans

Deep down inside I, basically am a wanderer, so do not like to be tied down to watertight itinerary. And Sundarban is just for people like me. It topples your cart at the first go. 

It so happened that kids were having Republic Day holidays, so the search for sites near Kolkatta, which could be covered up within 2-3 days, was done. It gave very few results. Darjeeling was vetoed out even without giving it due consideration,  as it was impossible 'To Do' it, in stipulated time. My son is a great fan of wildlife so it was zeroed down to 'Sundarban' for its galore of wildlife. Notable among-st it was the attraction for famous 'Royal Bengal' tiger.

Initially, my opinion about the nomenclature was, 'Another pompous arrogance' of Bengalis, as they always put themselves above the rest, for being [ or they assume ] more 'Articulate, Cultured and dignified !' 'Bhadra Lok'! In other words, 'Snob'? But it turned out that 'Royal Bengal Tiger' is really class apart in the species for a variety of reasons. More about it later.

As everybody knows, 'Sundarban' is situated on the marshy delta, created by the confluence of three major rivers of North India and Bangla Desh. Ganga [ Ganges, Padma ], Meghana [ Mostly from Bangla Desh] and last but definitely not the least, Brahmaputra. In fact, this marshy, water-laden topography starts from Kolkatta itself. Kolkatta has water bodies all over. Maybe, every 500 meters, either there is a small pond or a big lake. It goes from small canals to rivulets, to at times big rivers! [ So The abundance of mosquitoes and high incidence of Malaria !]. Water accompanies you all the way to 'Sundarban' because there are not less than 100s of rivers in Sundarban alone! I don't know or can't say specifically, but it seems that maybe, Bengalis are averse to name ' Ganga'. Right from their own Hooghly, which other than Kolkattans consider being the continuation of Ganga, none of the rivers from the area has the suffix 'Ganga, like we have here, in this part of India, say 'Panchganga. Vainganga Dakshin Ganga' and so on! 

It's a short journey of around 100 km only but takes longer time than expected, even though it's a state highway, SH No. 3. It has only two lanes and passes through many densely populated towns and villages. The road journey ends at Godkhali Ferry Jetty as there are no roads beyond and one has to travel in a boat! 

And here the itinerary took a spin downwards! Due to the extended weekend, the roads were jam-packed with holidaymakers. Our tour operator alone had 5 buses full of tourists! We reached Godkhali 90 minutes late due to frequent traffic jams! As there were no prior arrangements for who would ride which boat,  chaos ruled the roost on the wharf! And I realized that for a full throat-ed quarrel, language is secondary because when fought with full volume, all the verbal duels sound same and Bengali does not lag behind!

One funny thing has to be mentioned! Once off the jetty, most of the boats anchor midstream! Mid steam in capitals! It's to segregate the tourists according to their hotel reservations!  So we were asked to jump from one boat to another, that carried other travellers to our hotel! The ordeal did not end but continued for three more hours. As per the brochure, the boat ride was to be of only for an hour or so but our boatman had decided to have a race with a man walking on the banks, in a reverse way, "Who would be slower!" When confronted, the speed increased but did not overtake the man on the bank! By the time we reached 'Sajnekhali Pakhiralay Sanctuary,' it was dark, as dusk descends earlier on the east Indian horizons! There was 'No Lunch',  only biscuits were served in a journey of 5 to 6 hours since breakfast, naturally, the tempers rose, but well,  if you don't want to pay heed, you don't! Our pleas fell on deaf ears.

Everybody whom we had met a day earlier, when told, that, 'We would be visiting the  Sundarban', had said, ' Oh good, but you won't sight the Tiger !'

And the next day it was vastly apparent that the prophecy was going to be true! There were more than 10s of thousands, eager Tiger watchers waiting on the jetty for their chance! Reminded me of Bhushi dam revellers, with  15th August holiday falling on Saturdays!

To have the glimpse of the royal cat, your watertight itinerary is useless. You have to stay put for hours just to have the whiff. And with those thousands, it was well nigh, next to impossible!

Why Sundarban Tiger is Royal? Straight from the mouth of the guide. They are taller,  better looking with shining colour and bright stripes, stronger and much more ferocious among-st the species. And they drink salt water! Probably that's the reason for their being different! They can swim for miles crossing the river, to catch the easy prey from nearby human habitations. There are nearly 30 or more human deaths every year by tiger attacks!

The way you traverse the jungle terrains in a jeep, here you ride a boat. The only difference is, open Jeep hardly accommodates 5 to 6 people, here boat was teeming with people, ours had more than 35! Thus there was a fat chance to sight the tiger. We decided to do away with few spotted dears here and few wild boars there! The exception was a lazy croc resting on the mud bank listlessly!

Birds! Plenty lost the count.! Kingfisher soothed the eyes while this sparrow-like Robin took away the heart with its cuteness!

The biggest bird of the area a type of heron was just a sight to look at!

It abounds in flora and fauna. The mangroves having more than one species was news to me. In Mumbai we have only one type of plants in mangroves, maybe a few more but in Sundarbans there are more than 20 species of them with their breathing roots jutting out of the muddy soil to seek oxygen. Sundari plants from which the jungle gets its name abound in number! The jungle does not have many tall trees the way normal jungles have. The average height of trees here does not rise above the bush level.

What is breathtaking in Sundarbans, is the sight of waters! At one point there is a confluence of FIVE rivers! Prominent amongst them are Bidya and Matla. Reminded me of dialogue by Vidya Balan from 'Kahani' .' Vidya, Vidya, not Bidya'. But here, it's definitely 'Bidya'! Though the sea, Bay of Bengal, is far away, the vastness of the water body, reminds you of the sea, that takes your breath away!

We visited three spots via boat but it was disappointing due to maddening crowds. Maybe our timing was wrong but if you have more than enough time on the hand and patience to stay a put, Royal Bengal tiger should be a treat to the eyes.

Disillusioned as we were, we cut our trip short by a day and returned to Kolkatta earlier and it was a wise decision, We could spend quality time with our kids that was much more precious than the sight of Royal Bengal Tiger!

The City Of Joy

Oh, Calcutta! Extremely controversial play, even more than today's 'Padmavaat' when it was staged on the Broadway for the first time when we were in teens. Never watched, obviously, but got etched on the mind, for the fact that all the performers used to be stark naked, absolutely in their birthday suits. There was a lot of noise raised by 'Bhadra Lok' from then Calcutta but Broadway being Broadway, it did not pay any heed to the high pitched protests but continued on and it became the biggest hit of all the times! Time plays all the tricks. Today on the main road of Cal, stands a posh restaurant by the same name, 'Oh! Calcutta'!

Kolkatta! The City Of Joy. Again a famous book by Dominique Lapierre, on which a movie of the same name was made by Roland Joffe'.Late Om Puri played the protagonist along with late Patrick Swayze. It also went the 'Oh Calcutta' way. But it definitely depicted 'Never say die' spirit of the city positively [ La 'Do Bigha Jamin' by Bimal Roy ], of course from the western point of view. Nonetheless, the book's title earned the city its nickname 'The City Of joy', like all the Bengalis, who have two names.  A Real one and a pet one!

When you visit the place the second time after decades, the changes you notice are obvious. So when we landed on Dumdum's Netaji Subhash Chandra Basu airport, India's new-found opulence, so far only reserved for airports, feels up your eyes to the brim. But what jaded the most, was  'Illuminated' display, 'Welcome to Kolkatta, the Cultural Capital of INDIA'. Arrey! What an arrogance! Every culture in the world is equally rich and profound, and changes, like language, every hundred miles. And thus India has a vast spread of cultures from North to South and from West to East, each one distinctly unique, regal and rich. Who gave Bengal the right to snatch away this cultural heritage of India to be wrapped up only in one colour, Bengali! Actually, the real INDIAN culture if you want to taste, nothing like 'Amchi Mumbai'! It's a potpourri of so many cultures, so much mixed up with each other, yet keeping everyone's identity intact, that in the truest sense, only Mumbai can be called  " The Cultural Capital Of Today's India"

It was pitch dark, as the plane has touched down at the unearthly hours of post-midnight, yet the road to and away from the airport was jam-packed and our Uberwala took more than 45 minutes to fetch us. That was the 1st lesson of Kolkatta. Uber and Ola both are extremely difficult to get, anywhere in the city and waiting period is never less than 30 minutes. You keep on seeing them on your mobile, but minutes together they don't move. To tide over the crisis here is a tip. Get the estimate from Ola/Uber and ride Kali Pili, in Cal, Nili Pili, they are always loitering around and are game to take any distances. So named as 'No refusal' Taxis. Do they really abide by that? God only knows, because we tried only once and it was damn a wise move! Unlike Uber/ Ola they don't navigate by maps/GPR, but as they know Cal roads like the back of their hands, they take you to the destination piercing every gully and turning around every nook of Cal in minutes! The roads are smooth, definitely better than in Mumbai and are beautified, thus soothing to the eyes. Every lamp post on miles and miles of road is wrapped up in electric LEDs making Cal 'Eternal Bride' made up for the big event!
Newer assets of any Indian city nowadays are her flyovers. And Cal abounds in them. Maybe it could be a reason why Amma Lalitha used to get elected in Chennai and Mamata Didi keeps on getting elected in Bengal. They changed their states definitely to better states! MAA flyover, of course, named after her, zigzags through entire proper Kolkatta for miles and miles and has umpteen number of entries and exits. At times it has more than 2 to 3 tiers one above the other. Last time I was warned, to start at least 4 hours before the departure from Howrah, as bridge used to have bumper to bumper traffic jam, that made a pretense of moving! Last week we made to Howrah in peak hours just within 30 minutes!

A mandatory photo if you are in Cal.
Glaringly opposite was the under-construction Metro from Garia to Dumdum. Pillars are erected, slabs are laid down in most of the places but stations look like relics left after a heavy air raid! We could hardly see anybody working on the site during our entire stay in Cal. On the last day, there seemed some hope. On the entire stretch of a few kilometres, I could locate 3 workers maybe 4, with their supervisor working on something that did not seem that important! It was told that the state of affairs is for last more than 5 years. Could not understand, why the establishment that could erect so many flyovers within such a short span of time, is not taking Metro that seriously? Is it or maybe, because the flyovers were funded by the State Government and Metro is being built by the Central agencies? No political hints, from my side!
I had not visited Victoria Memorial in my last visit so it was a must.

The elegantly built structure must have been built with Taj Mahal in the mind. In sparkling white marble though the building is breathtakingly elegant, does not take away your ire towards the exploiters who bled India economically and divided us on different fronts on which we still are fighting!
Another pleasant shock that Cal gives to Mumbaikars like us, is its affordability. My son has rented a 3 bedroom, nicely furnished flat for really a paltry sum. Apartment of those dimensions could easily fetch a rent in 50 ks in Mumbai! Crisscrossed the city in Metros, by Ferries, Buses and  Olas and Pili Taxis but the fares always left chuckles from the mouth. Rs 10 for two when you travel by bus for more than 10 km ??!! Did not eat much of street food, but it seemed hygienic and reasonably priced! Even the airport had much cheaper food as compared to Mumbai's!
Visited many so-called tourists' spots but some events just come and go, not leaving any imprint behind, either on the mind or on time. Except for the warmth of visit to my son and daughter in law, this visit to Kolkatta did not leave any impact, no vibe! I just visited Cal and that's all!

Salute the Brahman

When I went to watch 'Dashkriya' [ last rites] a Marathi movie, neither did I have any grudge , me  being a high caste  Brahman, and I definitely knew that it must be anti Brahman, nor did I expected it to be highly thought provoking. For many reasons actually.

As I had not performed the last rites of both my parents, finding them to be utterly tribal and outdated for this century, I did not believe the entire concept in the first place. Any highly  educated and  thinking person can believe in such mundane rituals was/is beyond me. So whole drama  concocted on such an edifice for me , was an exercise in futility.

Well till the end it went on the well beaten track but the end was finely conceived, asking you to think and above all question whether do we really require a priest?

And here I salute the Brahman.

Leaving their ancestral legitimacy far behind, either to be a priest or to be a land lord, 'Watandar' living on some body else's toils, new Brahman of this century has conquered so many diverse fields that it's really a feat to salute.

To start with , there is this Mr Harshawardhan Patwardhan who has done MBA from abroad [Nottingham, to be precise] is way ahead in designing and manufacturing Kolhapuri Chappals so far the domain of cobblers only. In today's times though not considered unusual, and it must not be, he is that Brahman who has catapulted in a profession that was considered to be only for low caste at one point of time.

The profession that was once predominated by the girls from red light area, there came a girl from high caste Brahman family who ruled the roost in forties and fifties, none other than Durga Khote who made path for Usha Kiran, and followed by another one, coming from the same community of Chitpawan Brahmans, Madhuri Dixit, what better can be said about her. Take any field, this caste has shown its mettle on merit alone !

Half of the Silicon valley is being run by the Indian Brahmans either they are Aiyyars/ Aiyyangars from south or Marathi Brahmans from Maharashtra. Today from every Brahman house in Maharashtra at least one child is settled abroad . If the opportunities on home front thinned out or dwindled in totality, this caste did not keep on lamenting about the lost horizons but they made their new horizons !

Cricket would be incomplete without two Marathis. Sachin Tendulkar and Rahul Dravid. Both Brahmans. Though from different sub-castes. Every body took Rahul to be a South Indian, but to the contrary he is Marathi speaking blue blooded Deshasth Brahman, originally hailing from Indore. And who would doubt their merit ? But above all, it was their dedication to the field they had chosen, which was in their genes.

Take any, any field and you would definitely find Marathi Brahman on the top. Bharat Ratna Pandit Bhimsen Joshi. For love of music this lad ran away from his home, in North Karnataka and where his dedication led him to !

Rhode scholar Physicist Jayant Naralikar, highest among-st    the humans Dr. Baba Amate and his entire family you name a field and there are Marathi Brahmans who had and are helping to change the history, by their singular merit and hard work !

Even when it came to farming there had to be Late Mr. Shaard Joshi to give the entire movement a concrete direction. 

The list is just unending ! And did not even mention Maharshi Karve Bharat Ratna Anay, Keshav Hedgewar oh so many !

Peshwas served as Prime Minister to Maratha Kingdom, till the last. Never ever they considered or declared themselves as kings. They used to get agreement 'Sanat' from Maratha King settled in Satara..Till the end of Peshwai, the Largest and the Biggest Empire in India that spread from Atak [ now in Pakistan] to Tanjore in Tamilnadu, the tradition was followed meticulously without fail. They fought Mughals valiently through out their tenure [ what else !],but were betrayed by our own people, in the last battle, that ended the reign. 

The point to be noted is, today you hardly find any Peshwa, enjoying on the deeds of his ancestors, but all the court holders who were supposed to carry out the duties in the name of Chhatrapti from Satara, declared themselves to be kings, once they reached their fiefdoms.Be it Holkars from Indore, Scindias [ Shinde ] from Gwalior or Gaikwads from Baroda ! And just have a look at their [filthy] wealth today ! And the supreme Brahman Peshwas, who really erected the empire, where are they now, just existing, living a lower middle class life !

And that too is a quality. If its not mine I won't ask for it and merit is not one of them !

So 'Dashkriya' tells us in the end, to do away with all these rituals. Many Brahmans like me, have already  done that in today's politically vicious atmosphere. But who has time to listen ?

Pokhara to Muktinath Via Jomsom

I wouldn't have dreamt that, journey from Pokhara to Muktinath would become integral part of my memory before I took it . Only word to explain it would be 'Phenomenal !' 

Surprises started at the outset. Imagine. A six foot or more , black African american towering over you, introduces himself as, ' I am Milind Joshi, incidentally I am Gujarati Brahman and would be driving you to Muktinath !'  I had said, 'Just imagine', but in Nepal it could happen. A young youth in his mid twenties with cute smiling  face introduced himself as our driver, and came out on his own that , his name was Anil and surname Bisht and by caste he was 'Bahun', that's Brahman in Nepali. Absolutely flat face face , definite yellow complexion, slanting eyes to the extent that they were only slits with typical epicanthic [ flap on the inner corner of eye] fold, so typical of Mongoloids ! The racial mixing in Nepal is so complete that many  a time it becomes difficult to categorize ! May be, the Biharis coming from India, settled in grass lands of Terai in south east Nepal, got so assimilated with mongoloid Tibetans from north mountainous areas that probably a new race came into existence, 'Nepalis' which braced Hinduism leaving Buddhism away and so the Mongoloid Hindus with Brahman surnames !
This is apart from the subject I know , but I can not resist to put it down.  Just to push the conversation on, I asked him , 'Whether he eats meat or not, or being Hindu Brahman it's a taboo for him.. What he answered was very practical. 'Yes he loves non veg food but while eating it, he puts away his sacred thread  to avoid the bad omen !'

The one who said' It's not the destination but the journey that matters !' should be or is it must be, as in punishment, made a bus driver on Beni - Jomsom route. We always say' No news is good news!' Here there is no road, but here it's, 'No road means no road !' Period. The 70 or so kilometers of stretch between Beni and Jomsom is nothing but tract for 'Cross country Himalayan car [Mixed, as motorbikes too abound .] Rally ! The entire course[ My pen does not dare to write word, 'Road' !] goes through Kali Gandaki basin cajoling steep  mountains on one side and deep valleys on the other. It's never two lanes, manages hardly one vehicle at a time. And by chance if two come from opposite directions, then one has to retreat on extremely narrow path, minding deep slope on the side, one mistake, even the smallest one, and you may be swimming in Kali Gandaki ! But the drivers plying on this route are polite to the core along with being expert in their craft, so no ego tussles here.The one in better position stops, reveres and allows the other one to negotiate ! Brought up in Mumbai driving culture , this was unseen, unexperienced and last but not the least, Unfathomable ! To top  the scenario,like icing on the cake, two wheeled Motor bikers too, wait, watch and give the way to the one who deserves ! I felt like saluting them because two wheelers in Mumbai.... well,less said the better ! But humans being humans every where, some times the situations are created.

The driver of white bus was extra smart, [might have learnt his driving skills in Mumbai, quite probable and possible, both because there  are more than 4 to 6 million Nepalis in India] , did not pay heed to the bus coming in from the opposite direction, so got stuck up ! And we kept on watching the scene with long held breaths ! The driver of Green bus got down, arranged the stones below the tyres of white bus and like a toddler taught to take his first few steps, helped the other driver to ease out of the situation. [ Picture aside]. Even then he probably did not learn his lesson and was driving in front of us for miles together with  a gait of 9 months' pregnant woman,  absolutely wobbling, at times with 45* inclination  !

The path has different moods every 12 kilometers like what they say about the language. Initial stretch, as it is at lower altitude, is more rocky, laced with stones from the sizes of pebbles to rocks to even boulders at places.Himalayas as compared to other mountain ranges in India are made of extremely loose earth, so 'land slides' is a rule ! We could see one, where entire village was buried in loose soil and debris!

The accompanying Himalaya also changes its face too often.The trees are initially usual rain forest type, dense and tall with different species. As the altitude mounts the pine trees and others from the species take the place of these trees. And contrary to common belief Himalayas are not equally afforested all over,at places it's bereft of even a single tree , absolutely barren ! 

The road is so uneven that even the bikers can not hold on to their seats, so have to drive, standing all along. Many bikers driving such, in a row could be a slice of footage from any Hollywood western flick !. All were dressed appropriately for the drive, with headgear, shades and mask on the face,as the dust on the road was much more than the waters in Kali Gandaki ! Where there is no road even to call for, one has to drive through dry river bed of Kali Gandaki, full with sand. At times when it too becomes non existent, you just go through the waters of Gandaki ! And there are Buses plying on this route regularly !!

Kali Gandaki is a major tributary of Ganges coming from the Left and boasts of passing through the 'Deepest Gorge in the world'. It's known as 'Andha Galchi' in Nepalese. Lined on one side by Dhawalgiri[ Dhaulagiri in Nepali] and Annapurna on the other, when it passes through valley near Lete, it's the deepest ! We did pass through Lete in Tukuche tehshil, but could not appreciate the depth as the height  or depth of gorge [canyon] is counted from the highest points on both the sides and we passed through the middle ! Though the waters of Kali Gandaki are Himalayan crystal clear, it's called Kali [Dark] because the sand of the bed is black. Another explanation, as usual, may be, after incarnation of Goddess Parvati, Kalimata! The river bed is famous for having well rounded stones considered by Vaishnavs as incarnation of Lord Vishnu, 'Shaligram' !

Few years ago there was this western flick, 'Mad Max Fury Road' and I had seen it in 4D format in Viviana Mall,Thane. In 4 D format your chair jumps when the vehicle on the screen jumps , dives, speeds whatever. I endured the jerks for 10 minutes but as the novelty wore off I felt like shouting ' Enough,Stop this chair from shaking, now !' It was that gruesome.

On Beni Jomsom road I experienced more than 4 shows of 'Mad Max Fury Road', continuously without a single break ! It was intolerable exercise testing your patience, your grit and your physical endurance ! As I am tall I always sat in the seat next to the driver but the space was so cramped, that I invariably ended up,banging my knees on the glove box with every bump. I got down with my knees, all bruised and body totally weary ! I really wondered how those sitting on the hind seats endured the ordeal! May be because we all were on the wrong side of 60, SIXTY ! Had we been younger, might have had enjoyed the 'Joy Ride' with surplus splurge of adrenaline !
Even then I would say it's paradise for hikers, trekkers and bike riders , for free flow of adrenaline, all the way along ! Visuals are breathtaking, road is adventurous, air crispy and the people very warm !  

What one squarely misses in Nepal is transport infrastructure. Notably Railways. The reason given is the hilly mountainous terrain which makes it difficult to lay down the rail roads. I may not buy the arguement as India has many such railroads that pass through hilly areas  ,right from ,Shimla - Kalka to Metupaliam - Udhagmandalam [Ooty] to even our own Neral - Matheran. Shimla - Kalka is mammoth with umpteen number of tunnels and viaducts.The planners have built it so perfectly that along with the scenery that accompanies you all along, you reach the plains without any travel fatigue, whatsoever. Is it because Nepal was never under British or for that matter any other white skin rule ?

As we got down at Jomsom, all the strain of 7 hours of tardy journey vanished in a jiffy as we had alighted exactly in front of Nilgiri peaks of Annapurna range.It was glowing in it's evening glory, basking in the golden rays of setting sun ! It then was, 'Click,Click and Click!' But even the 10th of its golden beauty was not captured in that mechanical device,what the eyes could devour !

You turn around and Dhaulagiri treats you with equally beautiful visual feast ! You are in the midst of natures' beauties and there's is dilemma as where to look . Both are that hypnotizing ! 

The air had breezy chill and it was time to put on your warmers. 

After a short sleep of few hours we were to head for Muktinath, surprisingly one of very few abodes dedicated to Lord Vishnu, in the land which is considered to be a gift of Lord Shiva. As the name suggests the devout Hindus consider it to be the step to the Nirvana, total salvation ! Mythology goes, that the eldest of the Pandvas, Dharmaraj, ascended to the heaven, from here. For me the road  to Muktinath and its surroundings only mattered.

Himalaya in this part of Nepal is absolutely bereft of any trees, save few bushes, and presents to you in its absolutely raw Avatar. The patterns on the rocks [?] are so vivid,intricate and mesmerizing that you say 'Wow' even without knowing it ! Again humans, should I say Hindus, won't say betrayed my beliefs, on the contrary went exactly as I had anticipated. The temples around Muktinath were crowded to the capacity, rather overflowed but to devour the bounties of nature, not a single soul was present. Good for me, I always run away from the maddening crowds.  

The pattenrs on this range were so picturesque  and eye catching that it holds you almost spellbound. Probably must have withstood the onslaught of harsh mother nature for millions of years but had not given up and so every groove and crease is still visible in its beautiful form, even today since its inception ! 

Kali Gandaki too, though mostly devoid of any water, well absolutely thin at places, has immensely vast bed that could easily accommodate a small township! 

The last few kilometers of road to Muktinath is a tar road, and for a change, we heaved a sigh of relief.The motor-able road does not reach up to the temple and you have to walk up the hill a few kilometers. The temperature was around 5*C and chilly wind blowing was sending shivers down the spine. Though fully clad in layers, cold was too much to bear. After every few meters of walk every one has to rest for a while otherwise either cold or high altitude lack of oxygen may bring you down. Though not overtly breathless I had to take  slow strides to make it to the top.But I could, without much problem !
The temple of Muktinath, at the height of more than 3000 meters, roughly 12000 feet, is built in a pagoda style and was thronging with disciples.

In pre Tibetan times it was known as 'Thiru Saligramam' there by denoting, one, its strong South Indian Hindu connections,and two,India did have only one culture from North to South even then ! Just behind the temple there are 108 'Go mukhs' [ according to Wikipedia they are Bulls' mouths, but they are not aware that the Hindus have more reverence to the Cow than the Bull] through which flows the sacred water. It ultimately flows into the sacred tanks in  front of the temple. Even in that freezing cold there were many devotees who went through all the streams to have a last dip in the tanks, as a karmic ritual.

There is an advertisement for 'Cinthol soap' by  Godrej  where few ultra  hip youths   jump, similarly in a freezing pool surrounded by deep snow. In principles, 'The act ' is same but both the groups frown at each other for their forward or backward way of thinking !
There are few other shrines on the plateau but by that time hypothermia had taken its toll  on me and I had started lisping ! My wife and a relative kept on asking me about my well beings, though their was no mental clouding or breathlessness I was unable to speak properly as my lips and area around had gone too cold. Taking that as a hint we started our downward walk. On reaching the sunshine lisping disappeared and I could speak normally ! 
Cow slaughter is legally banned in Nepal so when you ask for steak, 'Yak' meat is served. Had our light lunch at Hotel Majestic and started our homeward journey.

After a gap of a day in Pokhara we were supposed to catch homeward flight from Kathmandu.But the parting note was not to be that easy. We started from Pokhara at 5 AM to catch the flight from  Kathmandu for Mumbai at 2 PM. But because of bad roads and heavy traffic, at one point of time we practically were sure that we would definitely miss the flight. Some how we managed, but an advice for those who want to visit Nepal, Keep Kathmandu on your itinerary as the last stop or there is every chance that you may miss the flight !
There is so much more to Nepal than I could write, for want of space. All in all it's a nice destination for varied experiences, and to meet good warm people ! Cheri o ! 

Pokhara

What Mumbai is to India, Pokhara is to Nepal. Even more so because, it's the largest city in Nepal, nine times larger than Kathmandu ! Abounds in natural beauty, is stepping stone to Annapurna trek and  is referred to as 'Tourism Capital of Nepal'. That's because, Annapurna, Dhaulagiri and Manaslu,three of ten highest mountains in the world are within 15 to 35 miles from the city ! The distance between Kathmandu and Pokhara is not much by air, hardly 25 minutes' flight, but it may take off only after 2 hours [!] or even longer !  By road it may take 5 hours onward, depending on the traffic. The road is okay in parts but at places to call it 'Highway' was hard for the tongue to pronounce and for the brain to accept !

The officers' quarters of Manipal Medical college where we were put up ,faced the Annapurna ranges from the front. Actually in Nepali language the last 'A' of Annapurna is silent so it's Annapurn only. [The way English language treats 'Yog' or 'Ramayan' or 'Mahabharat'. Even Karm is now accepted by the Oxford dictionary in its mutilated form 'Karma' !] So early next morning when we got up and had casual visit to the balcony, eyes just popped out. Shouting for my co brother I rushed to the room to grab my camera. Whatever that was in front, didn't have more apt word than 'Nazara' in Urdu ! Early morning nascent rays being reflected from the glassy snow was view to watch ! The words failed and so we gobbled up the nature's gift only with the eyes. 

 The  tallest one[apparently], the picture above, [as it is nearer to Pokhara], is known in Nepali as 'Machchapuchchere' or fish tail.

The next ones in the line[ picture on the Left] were Annapunra I the real tallest in the ranges, but as it was far away looked smaller than Machchapuchchere, Annapurna IV and others, like,Piang Peak, Tilicho , the names are just hard to remember.Annapurna II and III are further away down south. There are around 16 peaks in the range tallest being Annapurna I scaling over 8000 meters.

We were damn lucky on the day one itself as on the successive days they were lost behind the veil of clouds ! May be , yes we were luckier as Sagarmatha [Mt. Everest] too did not play hide and seek with us !

Pokhara is situated on the banks of Phewa lake and has three rivers flowing through it. Seti with its tributaries, upper and lower, while Kal and Bhallam are little bit on the outskirts. Seti really plays hide and seek with Pokhara as more than 3 to 4 kilometers of its flow, runs underground !

At Davi's fall, [ The dispute still goes on about the name. Davi was a swiss couple who drowned in the Seti fall so the name.. that's one and in Nepalese it's known as Devi's fall , naturally after goddess Kali.] it comes with full gusto to disappear in the crack in the rocks to appear again at Gupteshwar Mahadeo about 100 feet below the surface of ground ! Not only at Guptshwar Mahadeo Seti has many tricks up in her sleeves to put you into confusion, but at other placess too it plays games !

Just behind the quarters where Seti meets other two rivers it comes from below the rock that had fallen from the height during the 2015 earthquake making it appear, as if Seti is coming from no where. Kal and Bhallam meet it just after it emerges from the ground below.

The sand of these three rivers varies so much in color that the waters coming from all appear different ! Seti  is also used for generating electricity after making her pass through Seti Gorge. It's an aqua-duct built at a height where 'Lower Seti' gushes hundreds of feet below, making enormous noise !

Phewa lake lying on the southern side of Pokhara is a semi natural lake. There is nothing great about the lake except that it is most frequented lake of Nepal. Like any commercial venture it has hotels and restaurants lined along the banks frequented mostly by hippie-sh whites !  It reminds you of Nainital. But unlike Nainital it has an island in the center which is an abode to Barahi Mandir. Why on earth all the beautiful scenic sites are given to God as if in dowry I don't know,but at every beautiful site in Nepal rather than meeting nature lovers you are practically accosted by Pilgrims who have one point agenda, come what may, bang your head on the threshold of the temple and feel extremely pious ! 

Pokhara really abounds in natural surprises. Practically in the heart of the city, 100 feet, well below the grounds there are caves which house thousands of horse shoe bats. In Nepalese it's known as Chameri Gufa. I had been to Bat caves in Langkawi so was skeptical about the 'Wow' index. It turned out that these caves were more raw and gave experience of the life time. Langkawi caves though great, are extremely tourist friendly, so much so that you walk through them, as if you are loitering through an air conditioned art museum, on well laid out wooden footpaths with railings and guide assisting you with torch light in full glow.  Mostly designed for Americans !

Chameri Gufa being in Nepal, you don't get any of such luxuries. The caves are pitch dark, naturally to suit bats, but there are very few search lights, one per five persons, so mostly you are on your own. The guide does not assist you ! The floors are uneven, rocky and extremely slippery , covered with slimy mud. You climb down through rocky path managing your camera and belongings but mostly yourself ! But once you reach the inner part of caves it's definitely 'Wow' ! Thousands of bats are hanging upside down, oblivious about what's going around!

The exit from the caves was extremely narrow and tortuous. One Nepali lady could not manage and got stuck up in the narrow tunnel like exit. She lost her wits and started howling. The result: Human traffic jam in the narrowest part of the caves ! There was no go, but to turn back. I was just about managing my clumsy 6 feet torso as none was in front of me with light and to manage with mobile torch was difficult in two ways. Light was insufficient and one hand was blocked in holding it. Result I could not gauge one rather deep step so slipped soiling my white shorts ! I then, really became 'Butt' of all the jokes. Even in that cavern there were two extreme experiences of Nepali women ! Seeing me struggling to get down the slippery steps, one Nepali beauty in her twenties, wearing ultra posh jeans, top and make up, helped me to get down offering her hand !While negotiating another climb, one plebeian Nepali woman in her late thirties just pushed me aside and being from the mountains climbed up the remaining path in jiffy,giggling, with her full heart !

Surprises in Nepal don't stop. Atop Ananda hill,  a hill adjacent to Phewa lake, Japanese Monks  have built a Buddhist pagoda, called as Shanti Stupa or Peace Pagoda. The cleanliness, the ambiance, the absence of noise, discipline every thing what Japanese stand for was there, in contrast to other Nepali pilgrims. The view from the hilltop shows you Himalayan ranges along with glimpses of Pokhara city and Phewa lake below.
Pokhara is full of such surprises but for want of space it's extremely difficult to accommodate all of them in one blog. So.... long !