Yet another year went by. Whether to look back to take the stock of the years gone by or to look forward to plan the life and start enjoying the ripe old age? Or I would rather look nowhere in particular. If you reminisce with a twinkle in the eyes and chuckle on the lips, you are going down the memory lane with nostalgia, but to be nostalgic means to be old. But of course, it means a life well lived and with a lot of goodies gathered on the way. Do you want to be one? Jolly well good old fellow?
And if you remember only rainy days it's really time to ponder. The road, if was always rough and rocky, maybe you had to fight all the time with the odds and come out relatively unscathed. Was it a life fought for a cause, worth to fight? I have seen so many around, fighting losing battles fiercely and getting hopelessly wounded in the end!
I don't know what came more, in my share.
Life is like water at the bottom of the pot and you are like a thirsty crow. You keep on dropping parts of your soul, pebble by pebble, hoping one day life would reach you, You would relish on it and fly away contentedly. Does it really happen? Or it's just a facade, an illusion of life well lived. Did it happen in my case.? By the time water rose to the desired level the longing to drink water had already evaporated. It so happened that I had to throw in so many pebbles, that all that water, I was hoping to drink and get drunk on life, just did not rise, it got consumed in just coating the pebbles leaving hardly anything for me to devour!
Does it make you cynical? No, it made me blank! Because cynicism too doesn't count! Really, what matters? Nothing, really nothing in big capital letters. You start as if it's a big deal but there comes a someone with a pin and you are left deflated at every level. The world goes on with or without you anyway.
Happiness is not something to be achieved in the end. You have to work on it and live life simultaneously while having the journey! I did it, in the best way I could. I lost a few relations on the way I nurtured few endearing ones along. Pluses and minuses make the equation. Equation of my life would be a puzzle to me too. Haven't gathered so far, where I stand. And to tell the truth, not bothered to know either.
If death is always a lingering thought, lurking at the back of your mind, maybe your hands are full either with the content or with remorse. In both the situations that's the normal outcome. Or should it be?!
Many more are to come, till the curtains are downed for the good, don't know, what to look forward to, till then? No, not out of desperation but because of sense of Deja Vu. Whatever there is to life, I feel, I have lived enough and don't feel that life has anything more in store for me! No desire or longing is that strong, that sense of missing it, would prevail. And if you ask me there is no end to life. Really!
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