Coffee Table Pseud

Coffee table Pseud! It's a species. And it's omnipresent. I bet everybody who is reading this post must have encountered the species more than once in their lifetime, and while departing must have felt, 'What a weird person!' and kinking the nose, brushing the idea aside to have the second encounter,  having bobbed the head in negative and chuckling to oneself, must have changed the lane at the nearest crossing!

Basically, He, mostly He, female of the species is rare to come by, is 'Know all !' and he likes to show it whenever he gets the slimmest opportunity. He is anti-establishment by birth, leaning mostly towards Left, though have enjoyed all the perks of Right-wing thinking, but may change stands like a chameleon, if allowed or given the smallest window. 

In the present scenario, he is grossly Anti Modi and takes vicarious pleasure in bringing him down even without reason or rationale, which he could not do when Ms Indira Gandhi was in power and shat in his own pants when she declared emergency! 

He slams every policy of anybody ! If you say 'Economical growth of India seems to be on the up-rise', he will jump in the fray uninvited and thumping his fist on the wooden table would say emphatically, siting one economist or the other, 'Bull shit, it's nose-diving. Mr Nitin Parikh [ or anybody like him ] says India does not have any future. '

PM of the country is not 'Know all ' in the real sense of the word, he has to depend upon various advisors or advising committees, to spell out a policy. Whether it's Economical, Financial, Defense, Foreign Relations or whatever, so he too relies on somebody like Mr Nitin Parikh who might be having diagonally opposite views vis a vis Mr Nitin Parikh. Maybe Mr Nitin Parikh, was on one such panel held by the previous regime, so naturally, he has to oppose anything and everything that this government says, but this very thing our 'Pseud' does not understand and he jumps on you ridiculing you, leaving you no choice but to go in your shell!

If you say 'I love Singapore', he will definitely say 'New York is much livelier' and if you by chance say, ' Yes I loved New York too.' Undefeated, he is going to say 'But nothing like Stockholm! ' Urban or rural, city or jungle he is bound to say exactly opposite what you stand for! So if you liked 'Kanha' or 'Tadoba' he will definitely vouch for 'Serengeti' or 'Masai Mara'.

He dabbles in every part of life like a seasoned maestro. He has a definite opinion on Mr Bhimsen Joshi while adjudging 'Gangubai Hangal' inferior to him. Lata and Asha, he changes his opinion according to the crowd. If everybody is gaga over Lata's melodious voice and perfection in rendition, he will point out, 'But she lacks versatility. Look at Asha she can modulate her voice in every which way !'  And Sachin! He is always damn against Sachin. 'He played for himself, his cover drive was poor, he could have bowled better than he did, dime a dozen opinions, and that too without setting a foot on the cricket ground! Ever! More the person, place or situation iconic, more the opposition. The entire idea is to nonplus you always!

Not only in music but he has opinion on every thing under the sun , including the sun, say , from Cricket, to Cinema, Hollywood, Bollywood, to Kabaddi and authentic joint for Mid Marwad cuisine and how it [the cuisine ] differs from west Sikkim momos, , to blooms in Kuekenhoff and Bengaluru botanical gardens ! !

He loves GA in Marathi and slams PL for his middle class literature. He loves PG Wodehouse but shuns James Hadley Chase, may be he reads him, but behind the curtains ! 

From Indian politics he likes to jump on international scene and opines about Sharapova, Rafa, Pele, Ronaldo, Lincoln, Obama, Osama Bin Laden, Tom Hanks, China, Black hole, Existence of Pluto, all in one breath ! And he really believes that 'He has flair in all these things ', sincerely, SINCERELY, in capitals !

What say ? ! Haven't met anybody from the species so far ? Come on, you read one just now !