Like every other
child, I too had a mother, the mother. Of course! Many may find this, a very
stupid sentence, but hey wait, let me elaborate. Like every other Indian mother
she too was quite normal, maybe, average be a better word, like doting her
children, working hard for the family, trying to fit in the role assigned by
the Indian Society for her, of a perfect mother, a perfect housewife aka cook,
housemaid, sweeper, laundry washer,, a perfect woman, superwoman in fact, and
she used to be, mostly successful in all the departments in parts, maybe below
average in others. But yes, the most beautiful part about her in this respect
was, she never felt guilty about it and spoke out her mind most frankly. But
rather than all these usual characters, she was very unique in her own ways. She
was one of the very few working mothers in mid or late fifties where most of the
women of her era did not, could not look beyond their home, their family,
totally submerging in the role assigned to them by the then Indian society! She
completed her matriculation[ 10th of the times] in the first attempt
after leaving the school in the 40s and appearing for the exam 6 years after my
birth, that is, 17 years after she left the school, to be given in marriage.
She did not stop at that and took up a job in primary school as low grade, 1st
and 2nd level, teacher! She was one of only other 3 or 4 mothers of
the school friends who worked! Outside of their homes! That too wearing 9 yards
typical Maharashtrian Sari!
She went through a
bad marriage, but as was economically independent, most of the time holding her
head high. But that’s not for what I remember her every day. Being in the profession that deals with life and death every day, her life and her
death too gives, me a solid platform to counsel the children in similar
situation!
Bogged down by the heavy
diabetes, and like every other diabetic, she too was very fond of food,
especially sweets, so she used to go through her daily meals like unavoidable
ablutions. Her sugars always lingered above 250 to 300 in spite of having MD
doctor at home. Hypertension, the twin of diabetes too made its presence felt. To
make the matters worse she had fracture neck femur, what we in our parlance call,
as the beginning of the end fracture, and a woman who had a fond social life
in Pune, in terms of going for movies, frequent outings for Marathi dramas,
visits to book libraries, Bhishi parties with colleagues and
friends, came to an abrupt end in Mumbai where we stayed, as she was unable to
do anything of above, without having a chaperon which none of us could be,
because of our own tight schedules. She though went through all this and
recovered very fast, but started losing the zest for life. Once, maybe after
collecting all her strength, she asked me,
‘Son, will I be
normal again and do everything like before? Or will it be just existence, with
crutches of these 20 or so tablets and medicines, I have to take just to be
alive?’
Being frank and
straight forward just like her, though, it did hurt me, I had to say’
Apparently yes mother, that’s what it’s going to be!’ Without a deep heaving
sigh, she said very composedly with utmost cool,
‘In that case, I have
decided to stop all the medicines!’
Not much of discussion thereafter, but
explaining every aspect of the decision in detail, we came to the conclusion
that, we’ll continue only those medicines which may prevent her sufferings.
‘Then let’s select a date, Gudi
Padwa is in the next week, I’ll stop all the medicines on that day’
As decided, she
stopped all her medicines on the selected day and bid her farewell within a week,
very peacefully keeping her head on my thigh and her grandson, my son, by her
side, she left her body, as if going in for deep sleep, forever!
And that taught me
what’s The dignity in death!
No comments:
Post a Comment